Your Little Guy

Picture a little guy sitting at the helm of your brain, issuing instructions. He’s reading from a screen that monitors all your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Depending on what’s currently happening, he commands your inner pharmacist to concoct a corresponding chemical brew.

If you’re entertaining scary thoughts, the little guy will order fight-or-flight chemistry to help you deal with the threat. If you’re experiencing thoughts and feelings of appreciation, the little guy will flood your system with warm, fuzzy chemistry that imparts a healthy glow and rejuvenates your system. If you’re in a rut, the little guy sends out a “freeze and desist” package, which increases your stagnation.

Why would he do that? He has no choice; he’s just following your instructions. You lead your brain.

The Daily Grind

People don’t realize they’re causing their brains to dry things up. In the name of efficiency and ease, they fall into a routine. Monday fish sticks, Tuesday pasta, Wednesday chicken, and so on, for decades on end. It makes shopping easier. No need to bother with new gadgets or cookbooks. Stick to what you know so that you can do it fast and mindlessly — after all, there’s so much more that needs to be done.

Especially for those who don’t like to cook, routinized meal preparation makes a lot of sense. But one needs to ensure that novelty, learning, stretching, and changing is occurring elsewhere in one’s life. Telling your brain that there’s nothing new to do tells it that you don’t really need its help; it can go into sleep-mode.

Creating Chemistry

On the other hand, showing your brain that you’re interested, motivated, and willing to try new things makes it give you the necessary chemistry for these projects. You’ll not only have the energy, mental clarity, and motivation necessary for your productivity, but you will also have a continuously fresh supply of the life-enhancing elixir that keeps it all going. Showing passion and excitement about life through undertaking new and meaningful projects causes the little guy to fill your body with rejuvenating and invigorating chemistry that actually prolongs life.

What’s all this got to do with family life? There are many ways one can use this information to build the personal satisfaction that spills over into happy and healthy family relationships.

For instance, as a mother continuously directs her brain toward growth, flexibility, learning, and drive, her energy and joy will fuel her family’s well-being. By continuing to experiment and undertake novel activities throughout her life — whether these are new recipes, new skills, new jobs, or new volunteer projects — she ensures that she never gets “old” or set in her ways.

While it’s easier to do the things she’s always done, the way she’s always done them, this woman courageously pushes herself out of her comfort zone. The results of her efforts — the benefits to herself and her relationships — show that she’s on the right track.

Many people are unaware of how much power they have over their brains, and therefore, their lives. If they feel down and unmotivated, they might even blame their brain. Keeping in mind that the brain is ready to receive instructions from you helps you avoid this error.

Try moving more to tell your brain you want to move. Try connecting to others more to tell your brain you want it to get social. Try learning something new and challenging to tell your brain to keep sharp and primed.

You’re the boss and your brain is your servant: Optimize that relationship for your own sake and the sake of those who love you. A better you makes a better family.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 619)