My eight-year-old stepson views me as public enemy number one for marrying his tatty and (in his mind at least) tearing his father away from the family unit. He told me the other day that his tatty should divorce me and remarry his mother. Not happening! The constant nastiness and caustic comments are really hurtful.   From the trenches: It’s so difficult to deal with these statements especially when all I do is give to these kids — doing their laundry cooking their meals cleaning up after them. I try really hard to take myself out of the situation and just see that the kid is in pain. The more I let go the better things go. —Talya Lakewood stepmother of four  My stepkids are clueless about what went on in their parents’ marriage and it’s not my place to enlighten them or defend their father’s choices. I wish I could help them make sense of everything but as that’s pretty much out of my control I try to provide a warm loving environment for them when they’re here.   —Sara Yerushalayim stepmother of three.