Limits are a concept that we accept as a necessary part of the parenting experience. We must set limits. Yes it can be a difficult often unpleasant task but we have no choice. There are behaviors that we simply must put an end to for the child’s sake — her physical emotional social or spiritual welfare. We impose these limits by instructing teaching saying no and employing negative consequences if necessary.
Children don’t want to be limited of course and they will sometimes put up a fight. But then we aren’t much different.

Not What We Chose
Like our kids we want things to go our way; we want what we want. Being a grown-up means not having to go to bed on time (wow we get to be as exhausted rundown and irritable as we want!). Being a grown-up means being able to do whatever we want… until Hashem Himself sets a limit.
“I wanted to give my children everything including a beautiful family life. When my husband succumbed to his disease that dream was destroyed. My five children are orphans — their hearts are crushed. I see that Hashem wanted something very different for us from what I wanted and I struggle every day to accept what He has imposed on us.”
We operate within constraints. The world of possibilities is limited in many ways: in areas of health finances the behavior of our spouse and children the conditions of the larger world around us. We are limited by our brains our genetics our life experience. We cannot be whatever we want to be (contrary to popular opinion) or do whatever we want to do. There are limits.
“I always wanted to be a doctor. Although I married in my early 20s I was still able to continue my studies finishing a science degree and starting to work in a lab. I applied and got accepted into medical school. Just before the term started I discovered I was expecting! Although I tried to continue with my program I became so ill with pregnancy-related problems that I had to drop the course halfway through.
“Two years later and expecting again I began my medical program for the second time. Then we discovered I was having triplets! I had imagined I could go to school while raising a toddler and an infant. But I knew that there was no way I could do it with a toddler and triplets!
“A few years later expecting again I realized that medical school was not going to be in my life after all. I don’t regret it for a moment. Hashem has blessed me beyond my wildest dreams. I’ve realized that there are limits to what I can actually do in my life. I could have still gone to school but I would have missed out on raising my family. By throwing myself into my family life I had to miss out on medical school. No one can do everything.”

Limits of Possibility
One of the things we most want to do in life is raise happy children. We want them to serve Hashem with joy find satisfaction in their daily activities and experience peace and contentment at every stage of their life journey. Children sometimes also expect their parents to be able to arrange things this way.
“My daughter is a bottomless pit. No matter what I do for her it’s not enough. She needs to talk endlessly but no matter what I say it’s always the wrong thing. I feel like she thinks it’s my job to solve all her problems and although I wish I could I just can’t. I’m exhausted trying.”
Coming to terms with our limits can be liberating. No longer trying to do the impossible we free ourselves from feelings of constant inadequacy and failure. Our human limitations prevent us from single-handedly saving the world (or our loved ones) and being in ten places at one time so we can stop trying to do those things. Instead we can operate within our limits contributing our small piece to the world around us and rolling the rest over to Hashem.
As we know from Pirkei Avos our task is not to complete the work but just to do what we can do within constraints determined by Hashem.