Last week I wrote about my son Yechezkel who in addition to his morning kollel works repairing major appliances. I did not write the article primarily for Yechezkel’s benefit (though I wouldn’t be disappointed if he picks up a few more jobs from the publicity.) He already knows how proud his father is of him for the way that he has taken responsibility for his family while remaining a true ben Torah.

Rather I wrote the piece for all those young men like Yechezkel whose fathers have never told them that they are proud of them. In short writing about Yechezkel was an indirect way of approaching one of the most important subjects in Israel chareidi society today: the need to create the idea of a working ben Torah.

Due to the financial situation in Israel today more and more yeshivah products are entering the work force. In many cases young avreichim are themselves the third generation of full-time avreichim in their families and their personal and familial income is simply insufficient to purchase or rent suitable housing much less to raise a growing family.

But there is always a lag between societal ideals and changing realities on the ground. Since the days of the Chazon Ish the ideal in litvishe chareidi society has been full-time kollel studies forever. That has not changed and perhaps it never will for that ideal expresses chareidi society’s defining attachment to Torah learning.

The problem comes when the ideal is expressed in a negative fashion: Anyone who is not learning full-time is not a true ben Torah a failure. That negative expression has very real consequences — e.g. chadarim that will not accept boys whose fathers are not in full-time learning regardless of how many years they were in kollel of their stature in learning or the standards and aspirations of the home.

The negative stereotype can often turn out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Those who start working — or even the studies to be able to work sometime in the future — often feel rejected by chareidi society. With that feeling of rejection goes a diminished sense of attachment to the community. And attitude can develop “If that’s the way I’m going to be viewed why should I continue to dress as I did when I learned in kollel or to keep all the chumros that I did then?” Unless the former avreich is very strong the resentment of feeling himself to be viewed as a second-class citizen will eventually filter down to the rest of his family and find its expression in their behavior as well.

I wrote about Yechezkel to show that it is possible to both work and remain a true ben Torah. And in addition to provide a little chizuk for all those who have taken responsibility for their families by learning good respectable trades and remaining totally ehrlich in the process.