Why is real change so hard to achieve?

“I really want to stop gossiping about my sister-in-law but the words pop out of my mouth when I’m not looking!”

“I promised my husband I would lose fifteen pounds. I wake up every day with such good intentions. But whenever I see some nosh my hand reaches out and stuffs it in my mouth before I can stop it. My husband gets so upset — he thinks I just don’t care.”

Why Change Is Hard

It would be wonderful if the change process occurred like this: 

Tuesday 9:05 a.m.: Set intention — I will judge everyone positively especially my spouse from this moment onward.

Tuesday 9:06 a.m.: New thinking program successfully installed in brain. Positive Judgment now ready to run.

Unfortunately setting one’s conscious intention is an activity only minimally related to the change process. It is similar say to entering one’s home. Turning the key in the front door is a good beginning but much more needs to be done in order to find oneself sitting in one’s living room. Setting the intention to change is like turning the key in the lock. Stepping into the living room however involves pushing the door open. The door is a barrier between the outside and the inside. 

We have a similar barrier in our brains. The “outside” brain is our conscious mind. This is where the cortex is located the physical address for our decision-making process. This is where we make our commitments — our promises to ourselves (and others).

The conscious mind however is not solely in charge of our activities. The subconscious mind residing in the right side of the brain has a significant role to play in whether or not we will honor our conscious intentions. (“Yes I know you said you didn’t want to mumble under your breath anymore but that’s too bad because you’re mumbling right now!”)

Those who rely on left brain power alone (conscious decisions) are disappointed time and time again by the shenanigans of their inner right-brained saboteur. What they need is a whole-brain commitment to their project. Both the left and right brains need to work together and in harmony in order for one’s goals to be attained.

Getting All the Players on Board

Accessing the right brain is a challenge. A person needs to “push the door open” to be able to enter the domain of the subconscious mind the “living room” of human consciousness.

Normally one has very little say about what goes on in the right side of the brain. When a person learns techniques for pushing the door aside however one is able to direct activities in the right brain. It becomes possible to reduce pain wake up on time go to sleep on time stop yelling break addictive habits and do whatever else one’s conscious mind wishes to do. The key is to deliver instructions to the subconscious mind while one is making conscious plans for self-improvement. In order to do this one must open the door that separates these two minds. But how?

Opening the Door

A hypnotherapist has special techniques for pushing the door aside allowing him or her to enter another person’s “living room” and “rearrange the furniture” so to speak. Using self-hypnosis a person can open one’s own inner door and make changes on the right side of the brain. 

An even easier technique is visualization which uses a relaxed state of mind to allow the door to float open by itself. Bilateral (left-right) tapping on the body also drops the wall. Once access to the right brain has been achieved a person can picture the new and improved way of being in a way that leads to real change. Try it yourself by following these steps:

1. Relax deeply by closing your eyes and breathing in and out slowly and rhythmically for five to ten minutes. Alternatively fold your arms across your chest and tap left/right alternately on your upper arms for a couple of minutes.
2. Still breathing slowly or tapping bilaterally imagine yourself doing your new improved behavior as if you are watching yourself on a movie screen. Watch for three to five minutes or even longer.
3. Repeat steps 1 and 2 twice a day — ideal times are just upon waking and just upon going to sleep when the door that divides the two brains can be easily pushed aside. 
4. Observe and enjoy your newfound success at finally achieving your personal goals.