Eichah. The mere mention of the word brings to mind images of suffering destruction and despair.

Eichah — how? How could the great and noble Klal Yisrael have fallen so low? How could the nation that experienced unparalleled closeness to the Ribono shel Olam have become so distant from Him? And what should be our response to the resulting galus?

The answer lies in that very word — eichah. The same word that expresses our pain also offers us hope. The attentive ear can hear the word ayekah echoing from within the haunting intonation of eichah. It is the word ayekah that teaches us how to respond to churban.

A Message of Hope

To understand this idea we need to go back to the first description of churban and galus in the Torah — the sin of Adam HaRishon and his subsequent exile from Gan Eden. After Adam HaRishon sinned and attempted to hide Hashem called to him saying “Ayekah? Where are you?”

Certainly Hashem knew where Adam was. Why then did He ask?

With the question ayekah Hashem was showing Adam how he could to rise above the state of churban that he had brought upon himself and the entire world. Adam the perfect human being who had been placed in a perfect world violated the one mitzvah that Hashem had given him. Though his intentions were noble he nonetheless sinned grievously.

After his sin Adam was in grave danger. He was in danger of despairing of viewing himself as a sinner who would be perpetually estranged from Hashem. Hashem called out to Adam: Ayekah? Where are you? I challenge you to find the real you once again. Don’t define yourself as a sinner; the sin is external to you.

The real you is the pure and untainted neshamah whose only desire is to achieve closeness to its Creator. This recognition is the key to rediscovering your true self and achieving a renewed closeness to Hashem even in your compromised surroundings.

Everything changed dramatically after the cheit. Adam was sent away from Gan Eden. Mankind had to work hard to earn a living. Women needed to undergo the pain of pregnancy childbirth and childrearing. The yetzer hara entered the human being rather than existing outside of him. People could not achieve shleimus (perfection) in this world; they had to undergo death in order to reach that state. The churban was immense. With the word ayekah Hashem was preparing Adam for dealing with that churban.

The word ayekah was a message of hope and optimism for Adam. That same hope is offered to us as well in the word eichah. The letters of the Hebrew word eichah are identical to the letters of the word ayekah. While we cry out “Eichah — how did this happen?” Hashem is simultaneously calling out to us: Ayekah? Where is the real you? You caused the churban by your sins but they are not your essence. Search inward for the real you and then you will be able to return to Me.

Recognizing the Barriers

When Yitzchak Avinu prepared to give the brachos to Eisav he found himself in a quandary. Who was the individual standing before him — Eisav or Yaakov? The voice sounded like Yaakov’s while the hands felt like Eisav’s. The pasuk tells us “vayarach es rei’ach begadav — And he smelled the scent of his clothing.” The scent convinced Yitzchak to bless the person standing in front of him.

Chazal tell us: Do not read the word as “begadav” his clothing but rather as “bogdov” his traitors. The Midrash explains that Yitzchak saw with ruach hakodesh that even the bogdim the traitors who would emerge from Yaakov would be filled with mitzvos. The Midrash relates the moving stories of two traitors in Klal Yisrael — Yosef of Shisa and Yakum of Tzeroros — who were completely estranged from Hashem yet made sudden dramatic turnarounds doing complete teshuvah immediately before their deaths.

When two words share the same root it indicates that they are intrinsically connected. What is the connection between beged clothing and boged a traitor?

As we know everything in the ruchniyus world has a parallel in the physical world.

Perhaps the similarity between clothing and betrayal lies in the awareness that both are external to the person. We wear clothing that we feel is an expression of ourselves and we may feel very attached to our clothing. However as connected as we may feel to our clothing clothing is not our essence; it can be removed. Similarly when we betray Hashem and act as traitors that is not our essence. Our essence is our neshamah the chelek Eloka mima’al that yearns to connect to HaKadosh Baruch Hu.

In the ruchniyus-gashmiyus parallel perhaps one of the roles of clothing is to remind us that just as clothing can be removed so too chata’im can be removed. Adam wore clothing only after he sinned; it was only after the cheit that he needed this reminder.

The Maharal explains that each cheit is an additional barrier that we heap upon our neshamah; however our neshamah always remains pure. The Hebrew word for nut egoz has the gematria of cheit sin (without the final alef). The nut is a metaphor for Klal Yisrael. Even if the nut is rolled in the mud the inner kernel remains clean and untainted. Even if a Jew is steeped in sin the sin is external. His inner core remains pure.

Breaking Loose from the Barriers

We begin each Shemoneh Esrei with the words “Hashem sfasai tiftach ufi yagid tehilasecha — Hashem open my lips and my mouth will sing Your praise.” The mefarshim explain the word sfasai to mean not only lips but any barrier (as in sfas hayam the seashore). We are asking HaKadosh Baruch Hu to remove the barriers we have created that separate us from Him. Once these barriers are removed our natural self will want to praise Hashem.

Teshuvah is a return to our real selves to our inner essence that longs for connection with Hashem.

Sometimes when we begin to make changes in our life we may feel hypocritical. Am I really the type of person who davens for such a long time? Am I the type of person who wears skirts this long? Am I the type of person who doesn’t speak lashon hara? The answer is a resounding yes. The real me craves connection with Hashem. When I make positive changes in my life I am discarding my “clothing” removing the barriers so that my natural self can be revealed.

We know that each individual in Klal Yisrael is enjoined to work on himself to make himself into a miniature Beis HaMikdash as Yirmiyahu HaNavi proclaimed “Heichal Hashem Heichal Hashem Heichal Hashem heimah — The people of Klal Yisrael are the Sanctuary of Hashem” (Yirmiyahu 7:4). The Beis HaMikdash could endure only as long as it reflected the spiritual Mikdash that was within the hearts of the Jewish People. When Bnei Yisrael destroyed the Mikdash within themselves it was inevitable that the Beis HaMikdash would be destroyed.

When we mourn for the Beis HaMikdash we are mourning not only the irreplaceable loss of the Beis HaMikdash itself but also the loss of the Mikdash within Klal Yisrael which was the cause of the churban. We mourn the churban within ourselves that prevents the Beis HaMikdash from being rebuilt.

How do we respond to our personal churban? How do we move forward?

The word ayekah serves as a guiding light for us in our journey out of the darkness of our personal churban. Sins betrayal distance from Hashem — these do not define us. Like the traitors in Klal Yisrael we can — and must — discard our outer selves and reveal our essence.

Let this period of mourning be a time when we work on building the Mikdash within ourselves. Let the month of Av be a time of teshuvah when we return to our inner essence and thereby return to our Av our loving Father who eagerly awaits us.