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| Family Reflections |

When Time Slows Down, It’s Time to Slow Down

We can train our brains to relax and trust in times of uncertainty

W

hen time slows down, it’s time to slow down. Oh sure, we may still be busy. But it’s hard to plan beyond a very short window of time. Who knows what will be or when it will be? We’re oddly trapped in the present.

We’re not totally unfamiliar with present-time consciousness. After all, we live such a day every single week when we immerse ourselves in the peace and stillness of Shabbos. Shabbos has taught us to stop, rest, and trust in Hashem. Now, during the suddenly present-time every day, let’s dive more deeply into this same lesson.


Trapped inside Ourselves and Our Homes

We don’t always enjoy immersing in present-moment focus. When we’re not distracted by living (moving, eating, talking, doing), we’re faced with our selves, the various parts of us who bubble to the surface with feelings and issues, particularly when we’re about to fall asleep, or when we’re already asleep.

Sometimes we can hear what our internal worriers are saying. Other times, we can feel the effect of their sentiments on our body: agitation, rapid heartbeat, tense muscles, physical aches and pains, sensations of panic, or other symptoms of stress. These are often strong enough to actually wake us up one or more times a night, or rouse us way too early in the morning.

And while some of us are “good” sleepers, or “deep sleepers,” many are experiencing the voices for the first time these days, as subconscious minds struggle to make sense of our new pandemic “lifestyle” and its implications for our safety and well-being. To live comfortably and sleep peacefully, we have to learn how to help all our “selves” relax.


Our Brain, Our Faithful Servant

Our brain is always trying to help us out. It does a zillion tasks for us on automatic pilot, once we’ve taught it what we want it to do. Our brain watches us, draws internal maps in the form of neural pathways, and then runs these circuits repeatedly unless we personally install an update.

For example, our brain watches how we stand and walk, produces a map for our “posture,” and then runs that until we go to physiotherapy for our backache and subsequently show it a new set of muscular patterns. The brain then copies these new patterns and runs those instead of the old ones.

Similarly, we think what we think because we’ve thought those thoughts before. For example, when faced with uncertainty in the past, we produced negative thought patterns (such as worry, despair, panic, and overwhelm). Our brain observed our tendency, mapped it, and to save us time and effort, now serves it up to us automatically during periods of uncertainty. This will occur until we install an update.


The Challenge

Of course, many of us have been trying to install such an update for years, immersing ourselves in the study of emunah and bitachon. Nonetheless, tranquility, trust, and gratitude may be eluding us this coronavirus season. Why? Was all that preparation a waste of our time?

Not at all. It will make the next step ⸺ the step of reprogramming our brain ⸺ easier and faster now. We’ve already built a brain circuit that goes from study (through books and shiurim) to trust (let’s call that the “A to B” circuit). What we need now is one that goes from anxiety to trust (call that the “C to B” circuit). In other words, the “B” (bitachon) is already built, but the trigger ⸺ the starting point of the circuit ⸺ has changed.

When things were going relatively well for us, the trigger “A” was study. Now the trigger is “C” ⸺ anxiety, fear, and stress. As we experience this anxiety (“C”), we need to guide our conscious mind to “B” — trust and gratitude. Every single time we think a negative thought or feel inner stress, we need to do it again, reminding ourselves that Hashem is with us ⸺ again and again and again.


Paving a New Road

Neuroplasticity is the gift that Hashem gave us that enables us to rewire the brain. Now, while the ground has been removed from beneath our feet and uncertainty rules, we can use this gift to transform our consciousness so deeply that, despite everything we’re going through, we will be able to remain tranquil day and night. Hashem is with us; we need not fear.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 690)

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