What’s in a name? I will know when I hold you in my arms after carrying you close to my heart

As told to Shoshana Gross

What’s in a name?

Annoyance. Exasperation. Maybe a tinge of sadness.

Because sometimes, you know that the name on your caller ID is going to add major complications to your life.

“Hi, Mommy! How are you? What did the doctor say about that rash on your arm?” Deflect. Distract. Sometimes it works. Medical aches and pains are one of Mommy’s pet topics, and if I can get her started on how the doctors of today are woefully underqualified, I can just wedge the phone under my ear and finally get some Shabbos cooking done, along with occasional expressions of sympathy.

Mommy ignores my questions, and the sinking sensation in my stomach is so strong, I have the sudden giddy feeling that I’m on one of those upside-down, stand-up roller coasters at Six Flags. Only Aryeh’s dare could have gotten me into that fix.

“…Aryeh!” Mommy’s voice is shrill. “Right?”

Time for damage control.

“I’m not sure I understood, Mommy,” I say soothingly. “What’s the problem with Aryeh?”

“What’s the problem?” I can picture Mommy, her stiff sheitel tilted in her rage, bright red lips pursed indignantly. “The problem is that he has no respect! No kibbud av v’eim! No concern for me! He knows my heart is weak, and he insists on aggravating me by not answering my calls. I can’t wait to have another einekel carrying his Zeidy’s name, but Aryeh isn’t responding to any of my texts and messages, and I can’t understand it! Of course he’s going to name his boy after Tatty, right? I want all my children to be zocheh to have a Shmuel Zundel. And Aryeh finally has a boy, eight years after his only girl. He’d better give that baby the right name!”

Uh-oh. The potato kugel is clearly not going to happen this week, and I should have expected this.

Every time Mommy calls, I know I’m going to deal with something, but ever since my youngest brother Aryeh and his wife, Avital, had their long-awaited son, I knew this was going to be the granddaddy of all unpleasant situations.

I’m the oldest, the protective big sister who desperately tried to shield my siblings through the broken years of our childhood, but now I have no idea what to do.