Our readers have shared the tips, advice, and wisdom they wish they’d known when they were newly married

Mazel tov! The wedding was beautiful, the sheva brachos glorious — and now you have to make supper, do laundry, keep the house clean. Oh, and figure out this relationship business. It can be a tall order. We’re here to help: Our readers have shared the tips, advice, and wisdom they wish they’d known when they were just starting out

“Nothing tastes as good as calm feels.”

A calm lady serving a simple meal on a disposable plate is far more appealing than the most elegant of meals on fine china served by a harried shrew.

Furthermore, a balanced meal is when you hold the paper plate evenly with both hands. Don’t judge nutrition on a meal-by-meal basis; look at the week overall.

Gittel Katz, Spring Valley, NY

Did you know that Amazon sells velvet wig grip headbands? Well, now you do! I don’t know how much your sheitelmacher sells them for, but mine doesn’t sell a three pack for $6.99. These tend to stretch out over time, so it’s great to have extras on hand. You can even keep one in your sheitel box so you’ll never forget one when you travel.

Speaking of which, you can ditch the sheitel box altogether if you’re traveling with only one sheitel. Get a collapsible wire wig stand for less than ten dollars on Amazon that barely takes up space in your suitcase, wear the sheitel you need, and enjoy schlepping one less piece of baggage.

F. J. Lakewood, NJ

What things are worth a fight with your husband? Maybe some things, but certainly not very many. When we were newly married, each time we had a disagreement or argument, one of us would ask, “Is this our first fight?” That helped us remember that the relationship is more important than the majority of topics we could bicker about. It helped diffuse any tension and enabled us to relax and laugh together and work the issue out in a more mature way, in a way that couldn’t be called a “fight.”

After a while, it became silly to fight when we’d gotten so far before having our “first fight.” If we’d managed four months, maybe we could manage five? In fact, we did this so well that now, many years later, we still occasionally ask each other, “Wait, is this our first fight?”

Chaya, Kiryat Sefer

Don’t ever think you’re done learning. Just when you think, “Okay, I’ve got this marriage thing down pat now,” things will change, because you’ll change and so will he. Realize that with all the growth that happens, there’s a constant need to recalibrate and adjust to each other — and that’s okay. The sooner you accept it, the less frustrating your shalom bayis work will be.

Leba Friedman, Jerusalem