O ur nature is to see ourselves filling up the entire space in the universe but when we recognize that we’re just a tiny part of a whole and not the star soloist when we contemplate how every person is part of the puzzle and not just another creature on the cosmic assembly line our attitude toward our fellows will do an about-face

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“Ben Azzai says ‘Do not be scornful toward any man and do not be disdainful of anything for there is no man who doesn’t have his hour and no thing that doesn’t have its place’ ” (Pirkei Avos 4:3).

We human beings use people as if they were objects. Philosophers have said that “the other ” by his mere presence is an obstacle to the full unrestrained expression of the ego. He gets in my way intrudes on my space. His wishes block the path I’ve laid out for myself and his goals may not be compatible with mine. This is the basic conflict of interests that underlies every battle in the world. It is the source of all interpersonal struggles wars and competition that have formed most of human history on this planet. At every level from international relations to family dynamics and every social level in between a person learns at a very early age that in order to survive… he must use people. In one way or another he must exploit them for his own needs.

In a totalitarian social model (and this paradigm also includes that little dictator the violent husband who tyrannizes his family) others are exploited through the crack of the whip in one form or another. In an open democratic society other means of exploitation are used: the fake smile double-talk and flattery psychological tactics all spiced with empty expressions of appreciation which for some reason the victim takes as compliments hungry as he is for some crumb of recognition as a person and not just as a functionary to help his operators achieve their goals.

A certain Israeli journalist gave me a concrete example of this sort of exploitation. For years he was the parliamentary reporter in the Knesset and everyone danced around him. Of course he felt the power tingling in his fingertips when the nation’s elected leaders trembled before his pronouncements in the paper.

And then it came time for him to hand over his scepter to another journalist. A few weeks later he paid a visit to the Knesset where he had spent so many years and had come to know all the key figures. He was astonished when some of them who used to practically lick his boots walked by without even saying hello. He might as well have been invisible.

You can find people who’ve experienced similar scenarios after retiring from positions of status as the human heart is so quick to forget. How many friendships are conditional enduring as long as there is a shared self-interest or some way of using each other despite our well-bred manners and sugary smiles?

Ben Azzai vigorously protests this attitude. He says “Do not be scornful toward any man and do not be disdainful of anything for there is no man who doesn’t have his hour and no thing that doesn’t have its place.”

At first glance this looks like a pragmatic approach. Don’t scorn any man because who knows? You might need him some day. There is no man who doesn’t have his hour and he might end up in a key position where he can help or hurt you. And then he will remember how you treated him in the past and you will be the loser. So even if he is unimportant to you now don’t scorn him. It appears that Ben Azzai is teaching the doctrine of “Being nice to people pays off.”

But in that case we’ve scorned Ben Azzai himself. We are saying that he too is part of the system — a sort of ancient Dale Carnegie who is teaching us how to win friends and influence people. Of course this does not describe Ben Azzai nor his teaching. In fact this holy Tanna penetrates the armor of the grim reality in which we live and reveals the core of the problem the evil root that has caused society to become so distorted. Through a new understanding of the concept of “man ” he actually tries to cure us of the illness that makes us slaves to self-interest showing us how a person can realize his full potential while sincerely esteeming others.

The Maharal in his Nishmas Chaim commentary on Pirkei Avos explains: “Do not be scornful toward any man saying that this person has no importance that he is dispensable in the world and has no part in the world at all. Similarly do not be disdainful of anything — these are the rest of the things created in this world which a person might reject and disdain. Do not do this ‘for there is no man who doesn’t have his hour.’ That is to say every man has his unique hour meaning that each individual has his own mazal for it is not possible for two people to have entirely the same mazal…. And since every individual has his own unique mazal he is an integral part of this world and he — and every individual — makes the world complete.”

Since the world was created purposefully by a Divine Creator of unfathomable awareness and infinite understanding it contains nothing superfluous and is in fact a unified whole in which every part complements the others and all are interdependent. The science of ecology has contributed much to our understanding of this unity. It has shown us many examples of the mutual complementarities in nature and the destruction that is wrought when the balance is upset by harming vital components that seem to be unnecessary and worthless.

Ben Azzai warns us against such thinking: “There is no person who doesn’t have his hour ” he says. What is found in nature is also found in human society. There is no such thing as a useless person; everyone has a certain role to play in the perfection of the world. Therefore be scornful of no one because by acting so you scorn the world as a whole including yourself. No matter who it is you cannot be complete without him. It makes no difference if you aren’t aware of the contribution he is making to your life. Just as vegetation and water have always provided an abundance of oxygen for the benefit of man even before the scientific facts of gas exchange were known the lack of such knowledge in no way detracts from the reality.

And therefore says Ben Azzai your fellow man is not an obstacle to you — he’s not getting in your way although to you it might appear so. By virtue of his uniqueness his difference from you he is fulfilling a task in the world — yes even in your personal world. If you recognize this fact if you sense your incompleteness if you understand that you are only part of a whole not a soloist who imagines that the world is his footstool if you know that you are merely a fraction of humanity that is composed of billions of people and that every one of them is a phenomenon not just another creature on the cosmic assembly line then you will do an about-face in your attitude toward your fellowman. Then you will thank every man for the services he provides for you you will esteem every man just for being human and you will gladly share with others the abundance within you for you know the great secret — that every individual complements his neighbor. (Originally featured in Mishpacha Issue 665)