“A man’s work is from sunup to sundown but a rabbi’s job is never done” (unknown quote suspected of being authored by a disgruntled rebbetzin!). No matter how much time he allots for it a rav’s responsibilities will occupy every second of his time.
A rav’s primary responsibility is people and people’s issues never take a break. No matter how clear my calendar appears it’s a sure bet that very soon it will be crowded with people and their problems. The Gemara states that even satan gets a day off on Yom Kippur. But no off day exists with regard to people’s dilemmas struggles and the challenges of life and so no day off for a weary rav.
In tandem with the demands for my time baruch Hashem comes the feeling of accomplishment when I succeed in helping someone. That outweighs the intrusions into my life. However the reality of being constantly needed has its own unique danger; namely the pitfall of beginning to believe that you the rav are always the one who’s needed — and never the one who needs others!
Most rabbanim myself included also teach. The opportunity to connect with children is a treat that grants me the fringe benefit of leaving the busy life of my shul for the day. Recently as I exited a school I decided to stop in at a local barbershop to enjoy a quiet haircut.
However just as I walked in my phone rang with an important time-sensitive issue. As I sat down in the barber’s seat I apologized profusely to Rachamim the barber for rudely being on the phone. I am needed I thought what can I do?
At the completion of the haircut I again apologized and quickly exited Rachamim’s shop already juggling the next phone call. After all I reminded myself I am needed.
As the holiday traffic (it was the Tuesday before Thanksgiving) continued to build I availed myself of the hands-free system to listen to my voice mail as of course as a rav I am needed.
The message was in broken English. It was Rachamim the barber requesting a call back. I wondered why Rachamim would be calling me and how he got my number. As I dialed I wondered what Rachamim needed from me. Did he want a donation for his son’s yeshivah? Did he need help with his marriage? Never in my overconfident mind did I ever consider the possibility that it was me the “great rabbi ” who might need him.
When Rachamim answered he said “Harav you left your rabbi coat in my shop; I looked in the pocket and you have hundreds of dollars in it and lots of credit cards! But do not worry all is safe. I am watching it for you.”
Slowly it came to me. When I exited his shop I went straight to the car without my coat! Now the epiphany was complete I need Rachamim the barber!
The next day after my son picked up the coat I called Rachamim to thank him.
“Harav when I found the cash there was another man in the shop and he asked me ‘Rachamim you’re not really going to give back all that cash are you?’ But I told him that the rabbi needs me and I will not let him down.”
As I hung up I paused. Indeed there are many people who vie for my time and often I feel overstretched. However today I was reminded of something by Rachamim something I needed him to remind me of. Sometimes I need you and sometimes you need me but at the end of the day we all need each other.