Coming out of the mikveh, I actually felt different. I was really Jewish. My neshamah had joined the Jewish nation, and my body tingled with joy and excitement. When he met us outside, my father hugged me tightly, and I could see the tears in his eyes. It felt like a very special occasion. I don’t remember if there was a cake or a party but it feels like there was; I do remember my parents’ pride, joy, and excitement. It sort of felt like I was a character in a computer game who had unlocked the next level in the game: I was Jewish. I’d achieved a special milestone.

That night, when everything was over, and I was back in my same old bed, I realized I was the same person, but yet I was so different. I was relieved, and I was happy. It felt like I had turned the key in the door of Yiddishkeit, unlocked it, and stepped into what I saw as the beautiful, magical world of Torah. I knew so many special people who kept the Torah and mitzvos, and now I was more like them. Closer to them. It felt surreal and wonderful all at the same time.

After my conversion, I transitioned out of public school and started being homeschooled in preparation for my move to a Bais Yaakov. (My younger siblings started frum schools much earlier than I did; in fact, I don’t think my youngest brother ever went to public school at all.)

For two years, my mother taught me my secular studies using a very structured homeschooling program. We did it all: math, science, English, grammar, literature, geography, history… As a lawyer, my mother had high expectations, and I had to work hard. For me, homeschool was certainly not a vacation! In addition to all my secular studies, I had intensive private lessons with Rebbetzin Samberg in all the kodesh subjects. Since I’d been in Hebrew school for years, I already knew how to read and write Hebrew, all about the Yamim Tovim, and I’d learned many halachos. Now we focused on gaining the skills I would need in Bais Yaakov: the ability to learn Chumash and Navi, Rashi and mefarshim. It was an exhaustive, intensive Bais Yaakov prep course. As the months went by and my knowledge and skills increased, I felt more and more ready to tackle my next frontier: moving to a typical Bais Yaakov school.

I was disappointed when my parents decided that the nearest Bais Yaakov was too far away. “The Lerners commute!” I argued. “And so do the Samberg girls! I can join them!”

My parents weren’t swayed by my tears and promised me that when we moved to a larger frum community in the next year or two, I’d join the Bais Yaakov. In the meantime, I’d have to wait.

to be continued…

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 937)