Vered’s Story: Chapter 12
| January 17, 2023I could never find a good opportunity to say, “Hey, by the way, I converted to Judaism when I was little”
H
igh school began, and I quickly settled into the rhythm of my new routine and made friends, becoming especially close to one of my classmates, Adina. Well into the school year, I decided that I wanted to tell her that I was a convert. Once again, just like with Hadassah in camp, I was afraid. Afraid Adina would judge me, look at me differently, or no longer want to be my friend. On the other hand, it was a big part of me. I wanted to share. When would be a good time to tell her?
The days turned into weeks and I could never find a good opportunity to say, “Hey, by the way, I converted to Judaism when I was little.” Then, one evening, we were babysitting together. We’d gotten all the kids to bed and the house was quiet. We sat on the sagging couch chatting when I suddenly felt, this is it, it’s the right time.
I felt myself growing emotional, and before I knew it, I was crying. “Adina,” I said.
Adina’s forehead creased and she leaned towards me. “Vered? What’s going on?”
I grabbed her hand. “Adina, please, don’t judge me, and don’t look at me differently. I wanted to tell you that — that — I’m a convert, a giyores.”
Adina grabbed me in a hug. “You funny girl,” she said. “Why would I treat you any differently? You’re the same person as you were a moment ago when I didn’t know.”
The wave of relief that washed over me was huge. My shoulders dropped and it felt like a brick sitting on my heart crumbled away. “Thanks, Adina.”
“Why’d you think I’d treat you differently?” Adina was genuinely curious.
“I don’t want to be treated better, or worse, than you’d treat anyone else. I want to be treated the same way you treat any good friend. You know what I mean — I don’t want to be turned into your ‘inspiration,’ as if I’m here to inspire you, and I don’t want to be singled out — for good or for bad. I just don’t want to be treated differently.”
“You got it,” Adina promised. She squeezed my hand and I was so glad I had her as a friend.
Buoyed by Adina’s accepting response, I decided to open up to another friend. Leah and I weren’t as close as Adina and I were, but were friendly enough that I decided I wanted to tell her, too.
It was a long, wintry Motzaei Shabbos. The GO had arranged a program for the evening, and after a yummy Melaveh Malkah and some action-packed games, the gym was cleared and we all sat down on the floor. Someone turned out the lights, and we found our way into a huge circle. We started singing. You know how when you get into the right zone, and you’re surrounded by hundreds of girls, these kumzitzes can be powerful experiences. Leah happened to be sitting next to me. As I raised my voice in song, the emotionally charged environment prompted me to stop singing and turn to Leah. “Hey,” I said. “I want to tell you something.”
It was hard for her to hear me over the singing, the crescendo of Eishes Chayil rising in waves around us. Leah looked confused. “What?” she asked.
Before I lost my nerve, I kind of blurted out, “I’m a giyores.”
Leah didn’t respond. She remained still at my side. Uncomfortable, I tried to prompt her. “Leah? What do you think about it?”
Whatever she was thinking, she wasn’t going to share. She looked around awkwardly. Then she said, “Oh, I just remembered, I need to return Yael’s mp3. I better go now.” And… she did. She got up and left.
Clearly, my two positive experiences notwithstanding, ready acceptance wasn’t the only type of reaction I could expect.
to be continued…
(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 945)
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