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id I ever mention that I live in England? It’s summer but going to the beach in this country isn’t quite the tropical experience. You’re lucky if it’s warm enough to dip your toe in the water without developing chilblains. Some beaches inEnglandaren’t even sandy they’re “shingle beaches” — basically a bunch of rocks at the edge of a water. How can you call something a beach if there’s no sand?

Playing with sand is one of the great pleasures of the beach. Yeah you have to be willing to tolerate sand absolutely everywhere forever but it sure entertains the kids. And don’t deny that you haven’t ever gotten a bit too involved in the sandcastle construction. “Moishy! Move a little you’re going to knock it down!” “Moishy careful! You’re ruining the moat!” Poor Moishy. Backing off he mutters that he was the one who asked you to help in the first place.

Sand castle building does take skill. Even with a simple bucket you have to flip then press that sand down hard and then tap the bucket’s upturned based with just the right amount of force before you lift it off. You have to choose the right sand as well — too dry and it won’t hold too wet and it’s slush. Usually the best place to build your amazing creation is where it will be washed away within minutes of completion by the incoming tide. Of course this requires adult guidance. I mean if the kids do it it’ll just look like some sad crumbling ruin. So pass that bucket of sand over here Moishy!