T

here are all sorts of museums in the world. Imagine a museum dedicated to yeshivish culture and rituals. What would it put on display?

The Mir Towel Rack

This is not for the faint of heart. Looking to dry your hands on a towel that may have survived Shanghai? This is it. If you also use it to wipe your face, you deserve a Medal of Freedom.

Mushroom Sauce 

We’re not just serving potato bourekas at this sheva brachos. Nothing transforms an innocent appetizer into a yeshivish simchah like a healthy ladle of mushroom sauce.

Keys

Most people have two, maybe three sets of keys. But nothing says yeshivish like having 30 sets of keys on your ring. If you’re the only one with the keys to the supply closet for the Havdalah set, you are holding onto one impressive yeshivish key ring.

Last-Name Basis 

When you meet someone, do you only give them your last name? Remaining on a last-name basis with friends new and old is a time-honored yeshivish ritual. If they ask you for your first name — just stare suspiciously.

Tapes 

This artifact has become increasingly rare, but nothing demarcates the domain of a true yeshivish safe space like tape cassettes strewn everywhere. Whether it’s in a car glove compartment or on a random kitchen table, you know you’re in good hands if you’re surrounded by “When Zaidy Was Young” cassettes and that shiur klali you planned on listening to from two winter zemans ago.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 686)