You’re not my first toddler, so I know that this is a temporary, if aggravating stage

Dear Toddler,

I’d write you a Words Unspoken letter, but you can’t read yet. You only just started saying a few words. While I’m happy for Tatty and Bubby that you’ve mastered their names, I’d like to point out I’m not, in fact, either a tatty or a bubby. I’m Mommy.

I didn’t recognize that you’d officially graduated to toddlerhood until I realized that my ability to do all the things I need to do during a day had significantly decreased, in direct proportion to your increased mobility.

You recently reached the “climbing on top of the table” milestone. Maybe it’s because I’ve gotten older, but I find this new achievement overwhelming. Yes, for the first few days it was very cute, but being stuck in a perpetual cycle of taking you off the table only to return 45 seconds later to find you gleefully dancing, or, to my horror, jumping, is exhausting.

I’ve learned new things because of you. For instance, I discovered that the dishwasher makes a creaking noise when I open it. Because you’re such a helpful child, you come running right away when you hear that sound. I’ve therefore learned to be much more strategic about this particular chore. Of course, I’m happy to let you help, but I really don’t need your assistance loading the knives, thank you anyway.