“He shouldn’t be dating. I know him well, I know his family, I know his history. Trust me. Get your daughter out before she gets hurt”

Shani Leiman with Zivia Reischer

Benny came from a chinuch family. His mother was a respected mechaneches in a prestigious high school and his father taught the highest shiur in a local mesivta. Benny was very close to his father, who had a unique understanding of people and relationships. His mother, too, was sought after by her students, and Benny loved to moan facetiously about the girls who were always calling to speak to her.

But while Benny was proud of his parents and respected their lifestyle, he didn’t buy into it for himself. He was cool — he looked cool, he acted cool, he had cool friends. He wore a white shirt — on Shabbos; no hat. While his commitment to Shabbos had never wavered, there had been a rough few years when he’d bounced between high schools. Eventually he’d found his place, and found himself, and now he was ready to get married.

I thought Deena Devorah was perfect for him. Her parents called her Devoiry, but everyone else knew her as Deens. Like Benny, she was cool, with a fun-loving personality. Also like Benny, she’d had a tough few years, following her parents’ divorce. Her parents had both remarried when Deens was 11, and it had been very hard for her to adjust to her new stepmother and stepfather. But as she matured and her family dynamics stabilized, Deens had adjusted and built a wholesome life for herself.

Benny and Deens came from similar communities, had similar lifestyles, and would be able to appreciate the inner work each other had done. Since Benny lived in Texas and Deens in Monsey, Benny booked a ticket to fly to New York on Thursday. He’d spend Shabbos with friends and go out with Deens on Sunday. Both Benny’s parents and Deens’s parents had high hopes for this shidduch.

Until Thursday night.