The day is never long enough; the work is never done… until it is

“W
hen my father was 90, he made an interesting remark to me. I had stopped by to visit and, as usual, was between errands. Dad saw how harried I was and said, ‘I think you should slow down. If you keep going so fast, you’ll be as old as me before you know it.’

“I was so confused! What was he talking about? But then I figured out what he was trying to tell me: When a person runs through life, then life flies by and it’s suddenly over — the person hasn’t even noticed it because she’s been in such a whirlwind all the time.”

There’s something to this notion. Have you ever eaten a meal so quickly that you didn’t actually taste it? Gulping down a beverage isn’t anything like the experience of slowly savoring the drink. Running down the street to catch the bus at the corner, do you even see the adorable toddler in the stroller being pushed toward you on the sidewalk? Do you see anything?

Life in the Fast Lane

“I look at my children and grandchildren and feel so blessed. At the same time, I can’t believe where I am in life. Am I really a grandmother? Is that man with the white beard and gray hair really my husband? How did this happen? Weren’t we newlyweds just a few minutes ago? I can’t believe we’re ‘seniors’ already, in our last season of life.”

Yes, life passes quickly; we’re “suddenly” seniors. The days and months and years passed by in a blur. But it wasn’t always that way. In fact, life passed v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y when we were little. Every year of elementary school seemed to last a century. Why was that? Because young children fully inhabit their hours. They live in each moment. They are present all 60 seconds of every minute. Living this way slows everything down.

The Slow Movement

In response to the hectic pace of life and the stress it produces on individuals and families, a culture of “slow” has developed in recent decades. There’s “slow parenting,” “slow eating,” “slow media,” “slow travel,” “slow fashion,” “slow medicine” and much more. Each aspect of the Slow Movement focuses on savoring and utilizing the fullness of experience.

Marc David, author of the Slow Down Diet, explains that eating slowly — with conscious awareness — not only increases enjoyment of food, but also produces optimal chemical and physiological processes for digestion, leading to more energy, better health, and natural weight loss.

Once a week, Shabbos allows us to partake of our own Slow Movement, allowing us to exit from the mad rush for one day. But for even greater benefit, we need to partake of some Slow even during our regular week days.

“I used to run around like a madwoman all day and then fall into bed at midnight in a heap of exhaustion. I lived on adrenaline and I felt fine about it - in my mind, I was thriving. But then I gave birth to the last baby I would have and all of a sudden, I wanted to hold on to every minute of mothering.

“I would just sit and gaze at that child and the wonder of it all opened up to me. I realized with grief that I had missed out on a lot with my other kids. It had been all about ‘what had to be done’ — running from one task to the next without really being present.

“This slowing down felt so good, so calming, that I allowed it to flow into every other area of my life. It’s changed everything for me. Now I feel like every day is a ‘last day,’ a day that I relish because it is precious and irreplaceable. For the first time in my life, I am really here, embodying my experience. Life is slower and fuller and I’m loving it.”

Tricks & Tips

How does one do it? Here are some ideas to get you started.

Throughout the day, intentionally slow your breath. At other times, intentionally slow down your speech as you interact with a family member. Other times, slow down your movements and really focus on what you’re doing, whether it’s folding laundry or eating a meal. These small, slow adjustments can yield big, fast changes for you and your family.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 636)