We can become closer to Hashem by reflecting on the good in our life

WE ask Hashem every Rosh Hashanah to bless us with a prosperous, peaceful, and happy year. After “bad” years, we beg Hashem to bless us with all the same. Suffering helps us to feel our total dependence on Hashem, causing us to recognize the one and only Source of our salvation. That’s one of the hidden gifts of pain.

There are actually many others.

For instance, pain heightens our sense of joyful gratitude. When the hurting stops, there’s not only relief but there’s also extreme appreciation for the state of no pain — the normal, miraculous quiet and comfort of ordinary time. Life is so good. Indeed, having survived grief, wounding, trauma, hardship, poverty, illness, betrayal, or other intensely bad-feeling periods, we may eventually enjoy the simple pleasures of life in a way that would otherwise have been impossible.

Pain sharpens our senses and expands our consciousness — once it ends. If we’re still engulfed by it when Rosh Hashanah arrives, we will pray fervently to be released from its clutches. We don’t like pain no matter how good it might be for us.

And, fortunately for us, spiritual growth is attainable through happier pathways, too.

From Happy to Happier

Each year is an opportunity to raise ourselves to another level. In our learning, our character traits, our behaviors, and our closeness to Hashem, there is no end to our potential for growth. But we need Hashem’s help for this as well. It is Hashem Who will guide us to the right people, opportunities, and instruments of growth; it is our overt gratitude for this help that causes Hashem to send more and more of it.

As we step into the new year, praying to be enveloped in kindness, it can be particularly helpful to think of all the kindness we received in the past 12 months. Yes, bitter tears and a broken heart are always welcomed by Hashem. Our cries will be answered. However, the rarer offering — full-hearted gratitude — might be an even more powerful messenger. Feeling pain is, after all, a “no-brainer” — it slaps us in the face. But feeling joy, especially in dark times, takes special effort on our part. If we can access it, then it will block out pain — literally. And that’s just the reward we’ll experience in This World. The remainder is for the world to come.

Chronic Pain

Millions of people live in a state of chronic physical pain. Alan Gordon, in his book, The Way Out: A Revolutionary, Scientifically Proven Approach to Healing Chronic Pain, shows how carefully shifting out of a state of emotional negativity into a state of positivity can release pain. Bodies want to release feelings like hurt, rejection, despair, hopelessness, fear, and alienation. Bodies want to feel hopeful, appreciative, safe, cared for, delighted, and trusting.

The HeartMath Institute found similar results in their extensive research: Accessing positive states of mind leads to physical healing and improved intellectual and emotional functioning. This is how Hashem made us. We function at our best, healthiest, and most comfortable when that special faculty of the soul called “attention” rests on all that is good. When darkness screams for us to look its way, to sit in its arms and to stroke its head, we need to force ourselves to look elsewhere. We — both our bodies and our souls — live in the world we focus our attention on.

Both our bodies and our souls derive nourishment from that world — the one we selected. When we heed the call of the dark place, we feed on darkness with all of its poisonous properties. We then suffer physical, mental, and spiritual illness. If we turn to a place of light, forcing ourselves to find it and immerse ourselves in it, we feed on its physical, mental, and spiritually healing properties and prosper accordingly.

While we certainly can reflect on the suffering of the past year in order to empower our prayers for the coming year, there is another way to experience our total dependence on Hashem. When we reflect on every blessing that has occurred to us individually and nationally, every miracle we’ve experienced, every salvation, kindness, assistance, salvation, support, and healing — we can see and know that Hashem has carried us on His wings thus far, and we can beg Him to continue to sustain, protect, and love us into the coming year as well.

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 913)