The boss is the linchpin who keeps everything together — or doesn’t

Gvira Milworm, CEO of Temech, draws on her experience of more than 30 years in the workforce to share her insights and the valuable lessons she’s learned about managing teams and companies, to help you be an effective leader and create the ideal workplace.

Many people show up for their first work interview nervous and racked with self-doubt. Not me.

I’d been a computer geek from my early teens. I was fascinated by software — which, at that point, was still relatively new. I’d spend hours writing code, forgetting to eat and sleep, and get a dopamine rush when I caught a bug in the program.

After high school, I learned computer programming and was a straight-A student.

So when I walked into my first interview at a prestigious software company, I was brimming with confidence, sure I could ace anything the job would demand of me.

I was interviewed by Rachel Dvir, a dynamo with a short red sheitel and a forthright manner. She asked the usual questions, and I answered. But five minutes in, she veered from the script.

“Do you know why I’m hiring you to work for me?” she asked.

Wait— what? Did she just tell me she’s giving me the job? If my sense of my abilities had been inflated before, this just added even more air to my balloon.

“Um, no, no, I don’t,” I responded.

“Because I think I can make something out of you,” she told me.

And pop went the balloon.

“This is a software company,” she continued, “so you probably think it’s all about your computer skills. But only twenty percent of what we need is programming abilities. The other eighty percent you need are soft skills.”

It would take years until I understood what she’d just shared.

Different Flavors

I’ve been blessed with many excellent bosses over my 30+ years in the workforce. I’ve also managed and led many teams and companies. In this column I’ll share the valuable lessons I’ve learned along the way — perspectives and steps you can apply to your own workplace.

That doesn’t mean I’ll be describing some mythical “ideal boss personality.” Good bosses — and bad ones — come in all forms: male or female, young or old, rigid or laid-back. I’ve had bosses of every type and learned something from each.

This isn’t about fitting into a mold; it’s important that your leadership style matches your personality. However, there are universal good practices that any manager should use to be an effective leader.

One boss I knew led a social service agency, but was stressed to the point of being unable to function every time she needed to take a strong position or make hard decisions.

Whenever a tough meeting was scheduled with clients or external agencies, she’d call in sick, leaving her employees to pick up the slack. The ramifications were disastrous. The lack of support left the employees, particularly the younger ones, feeling overwhelmed and vulnerable. They needed a strong backbone to support them, not someone who would bolt when the going got tough.

Finally, the regional supervisor saw what was going on and demoted the boss, replacing her with a decisive woman with strong leadership skills. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief — the original boss most of all.

In Sanhedrin (16a), the gemara describes Dovid Hamelech’s schedule. At dawn, the chachamim would enter and say, “Our master, the king, your nation needs parnassah.” The message here is clear: If you are a leader, you need to lead.

You can delegate and partner, but being a boss means being responsible. Responsible for the business, responsible for outcomes, responsible for the well-being of your employees. It’s your job to create a solid workplace where needs are met, and each employee has the tools and support to do their best.

What’s the hishtadlus you can do to create that ideal workplace?

The Comfort of Consistency

You’ll develop your own style, and your employees will know it well. What’s important is to be consistent. Just as we’re told over and over that it's important to be consistent in our parenting, the same rule applies to employees.

Perhaps you’re someone who’s always running a few minutes late. That’s not ideal, but it’s also not terrible. Meetings in your office will probably always start a bit late, and that’s okay.

What’s not okay is to show up exactly on time one day and then berate all the employees who drift in late.

We humans are creatures of habit and we feel safe when we know what to expect. No one likes unpleasant surprises. Once you’ve created a particular atmosphere, stick to it, so your employees feel secure. And if you do need to implement a change, do it slowly and gently.

Why Are You Here?

Years ago, I was a team leader, and one of the members wasn’t pulling her weight. Speaking to her and trying to motivate her didn’t work, but I was loath to fire someone. So I tried to cover up for her, and my team was limping along with one member not performing.

This went on until my superior discovered the dynamic and called me out on it. “You’re trying to be nice to one person,” she told me bluntly, “but because of that choice, we could have lost the entire project, and then six people wouldn’t have a job.”

It was a sobering moment. Since then, I’ve kept in mind that my very first loyalty has to be to the business. Sometimes, we’re so busy being nice that we forget to be good. Good has to come first.

But what does good mean?

Answering that question is crucial for any business. Because if you don’t know where you’re going, you definitely won’t get there. Even once you choose a destination, you still need to pick your mode of transportation — your strategy.

When I first became CEO of Temech, I sat with the outgoing CEO and got updated on all the people inside and outside the organization and their current projects. That was crucial.

But my business coach asked me a very different question: What are you there to do?

People, projects, plans — all those are good. But before you dive into any of that, you need to know your overarching goal. Where do you want to be in one year? Five years? Ten years?

The answer will be different for each company. You may be a shoe store, so it seems obvious that your goal is to sell shoes. But is your goal to sell as many pairs as possible at a low price? Or is it to produce the best shoe to attract a high-end clientele?

Even if two stores have the same goal, say, producing the best possible shoe, they may go about it differently. One may prize fabulous customer service above all, while another may focus on relentless innovation.

Having clarity regarding your goals is crucial because you need to let your employees know where to put their efforts. As entrepreneur and best-selling author Seth Godin says, “People like us do things like this.” What is your “this”? Once you know that, everything — and I mean everything — flows from it.

In Real Life

Recently, we held an intensive two-day training for our new team of networking leaders. We could have served box lunches, and perhaps in some programs, that’s what we would have done. But here, we were giving a high-level training program for seasoned professionals, and we wanted every aspect of the program to reflect that reality.

The seminar was in an elegant hotel, and every meal was lavish and beautifully presented. Knowing our goal and the underlying message impacted every aspect of the program.

Another example.

I was recently in the States. I flew on an airline with which I have platinum status, which allows me to take a second suitcase free. What I didn’t realize was that I needed to reserve that second piece before arriving at the airport. I got there, and they charged me. I tried explaining, but there was no one to talk to.

When I got home, I emailed the airline. They sent back a flat, unsympathetic response with a link to the page stating that the second bag needed to be reserved before arrival at the airport.

I wasn’t expecting money back at that point, but they didn’t even offer me some miles or a voucher to leave me with a good feeling toward the company.

On that same trip, I took an Amtrak train between two cities. It was a very hot day, and I got an email before departure time informing me that due to the heat, the train couldn’t travel at its usual speed and it would be 20 minutes late.

I appreciated the update and took it in stride.

But Amtrak did more. After my trip, I received an email apologizing for the inconvenience of the delay and informing that they were gifting me 250 points.

It was clear that the first company didn’t prioritize customer service, while Amtrak considers it crucial. And the approach, in both cases, is clear to everyone, down to the last employee.

What and How

Employees need clarity. Otherwise, they can spend a lot of time working hard on tasks that may not be important to you, leading to mutual disappointment.

Study how your employees are spending their time. Then figure out if their current actions align with the company’s goals.

If the answer is “probably not,” or even “I’m not sure,” it’s time to work on strategy. It’s about choosing a WHAT — what do we want to achieve, and a HOW — the steps we need to take to achieve it.

You may want to do this internally (which gives the team buy-in) or with external experts (which provides the advantage of fresh perspectives).

Once you have the strategy, the team better know about it. There may be pain involved; you might find yourself missing the pieces that are no longer part of what you do. However, you’ll find that it’s far easier to make decisions because you can see how particular actions will or won’t align with your goals.

There was a software company I worked with a while back. Initially, their strategy was to service 100 small customers, but they later shifted to focus on ten large clients. That new strategy trickled down to every element of the company and enabled us to prioritize properly.

The Linchpin

At Temech, we work with many women stepping into their first management roles, and time and again, I see how teams either fail or flourish depending on their leaders.

Jim Collins, an expert in business management and company growth, wrote Good to Great: Why Some Companies Make the Leap... and Others Don’t, in which he studied famous companies in depth. Initially, he chose to focus solely on company culture, ignoring the impact of individual leaders, particularly since some companies had multiple CEOs during the study period.

However, the data proved him wrong. It consistently showed that a company’s success and growth were closely linked to its leadership. The boss is the linchpin who keeps everything together — or doesn’t.

As a boss, it’s daunting to face this reality. We grapple with so many dilemmas. We want to know how to create a cohesive team, how to motivate our employees, and how to judge performance. We wonder when to offer feedback and when to stay silent. We try to figure out fair compensation and bonuses and agonize when we have to let someone go. We aim to foster innovation and creativity while trying to delegate effectively.

It’s a tall order.

Every boss or manager holds their position because their team can achieve things that couldn’t be done alone. Whether it’s leveraging unique talents or scaling efforts to achieve far more together, we need our teams to realize our dreams. And we want to help them fulfill their own dreams, too.

So what are your dreams for your team? What’s been keeping you up at night? What would you like to know about effective leadership? Let’s turn those sleepless hours into action plans. Share your thoughts and let’s, b’ezras Hashem, grow as leaders together.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 1029)