Today the custom of mitzvah tantz is still widespread and has even reached new communities. We caught up with five top international badchanim, who share their experiences and perspectives from the very heart of the Jewish wedding

Reb Yisroel Stern

Based in London

Badchan for 35 years

MY BIGGEST CHALLENGE ON THE JOB

When you’re singing at the emotional peak of someone’s simchah, you have to make yourself part of the simchah. You have to feel it. And it’s not always easy. As a badchan, you have to switch off from your own life and put yourself into the simchah. Even if you’re not feeling well, each chasunah deserves a full motor.

One mechutan promised to pay me an extra 50% to do an entire mitzvah tantz in under 45 minutes, and I went all the way to America for that. If you ask me, there’s no point in cutting things short like that, but everyone has their own taste. At other times, I can finish a wedding at 8 a.m.

MY MOST EMOTIONAL MITZVAH TANTZ

The wedding of my own daughter, and when I had the privilege of serving as badchan for my rebbe, the Belzer Rav, especially at the first wedding of the next generation of the Belz dynasty.

MY ADVICE TO NEW BADCHANIM

When I started out, there was a famed badchan in the US by the name of Reb Chaim Mendel Mermelstein. At that time, Reb Shulem Kester, the badchan in the court of the Bobover Rebbes, was just beginning, and Reb Chaim Mendel gave him this advice: “Don’t try to be Reb Chaim Mendel. If people want to hear me, they can hire me. Just be Reb Shulem Kester.” I would say the same — just be yourself, don’t mimic others.

MY ADVICE TO MECHUTANIM

When I was just starting out, a mechutan once said to me, “Don’t say a word about me. I don’t want to be praised in public.” Well, I was young, I took him literally and didn’t say anything about him, and it’s been 35 years, and he hasn’t said a word to me since.

Today I would advise mechutanim to just tell the badchan clearly exactly what they want. Someone has to let him know what you want your family to hear about you. And even if it’s a little embarrassing to do so, it’s worth embarrassing yourself in front of one person in order to avoid being embarrassed in front of 100 people.

ANOTHER BADCHAN I ENJOY LISTENING TO

I don’t really have the chance, but I do try to tell other badchanim when I hear from people that they’ve enjoyed their badchanus.

HOW I USE HUMOR

Well, I’m a descendant of the Chasam Sofer, so humor is part of my life. The Gemara (Nedarim 50b) speaks about Rebbi, from the Mishnah, who made a chasunah and didn’t invite Bar Kaparah. Bar Kaparah was a badchan, and Rebbi didn’t want to laugh, because Rebbi’s laughter brought punishment to the world. Bar Kaparah came and leaned on the door and said, “If this is the chasunah of someone who doesn’t do the ratzon Hashem, how much greater will be the chasunah of someone who does do the ratzon Hashem.” The Chasam Sofer writes in his commentary on Shas that based on this, we can see that Hashem’s will at a chasunah is for the celebrants “litzchok velirkod” — to laugh and to dance. In fact, the literal meaning of badchan is “jester.”

A NEAR-DISASTER

I once had a booking for a wedding which was taking place an hour and a half away from Montreal, at a golf hotel. My plan was to fly London-New York-Montreal, and arrive at 2 p.m., in time to rest before going to the chuppah. I reached New York, but the Montreal flight was delayed by an hour, then another hour. Then it was cancelled. My only recourse was to take a car and a driver for a nine-hour road trip. It cost about $1,000, and I got there at 1:50 a.m. They schlepped out the dancing until I arrived, but that was a close call.

HOW I BADCHENED FOR THE REBBE

Badchaning for any rebbe is very major. But for my own rebbe, the Belzer Rav, it’s the most difficult. It’s an awesome responsibility, and I find myself unable to function the next day. I don’t get worked up about the huge crowd — the awe comes because all the heilige ancestors are present at a simchah, and who am I to stand and speak and sing in front of the spiritual giants of the Belzer dynasty? I tell myself that I’m not fitting, that this has nothing to do with me personally, rather it is a gift of speech from Above, and because I use it to bring joy to Yidden, I have the zechus to use it in front of tzaddikim too.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 806)