So it was that summer the one before I entered high school that I had such strong hopes and dreams.… Now I was having a fresh start in a new environment. Maybe now as I entered a new school it would be my chance to finally get noticed. To gain recognition. To make new friends. To belong. Those wishful thoughts put a bounce into my step all summer long.

It was with those dreams and hopes and carefully chosen shoes and school bag that I walked into ninth grade. The very beginning of the year was a blur of navigating around a new building getting used to new routines meeting new staff members and learning the ins and outs of high school. But as the blur of a new school and new teachers turned into routine it slowly dawned on me that all my hopes and dreams … well that’s just what they were hopes and dreams. Maybe I still have to give it some time I remember thinking.

But as the school year went by I realized that time was not helping. If anything it was making the situation worse. Somehow as everyone else got settled into school I found myself once again on the sidelines. As groups began forming and cliques came together I so desperately wanted to be accepted into one of them. But somehow when the recess bell rang a feeling of dread overcame me.

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