Bad behavior always affects a marriage. The good news? It can be cured
Marriage requires maturity. Unfortunately a spouse can be immature at any age and at any stage of marriage. While a 20-year-old who has been married for six months may display some immature behaviors so can a 48-year-old who has been married for 25 years. No matter when immature behavior occurs it always causes problems in a marriage.
“I have five children and a husband who is more of a child than any of them ” complains Raizel. “I try to train the children to clean up after themselves but my husband just leaves everything lying around. His shoes are under the table. His cup is on the table. His jacket is hanging over the railing. The older children constantly complain about the mess and I don’t know what to say.”
There are many ways to be immature but any lack of responsibility can be characterized this way. “My wife is completely unreasonable. She expects me to put in a full day at work do errands on the way home help with dinner do homework with the kids and do the bath and bed routine! She doesn’t work outside the home and we even have hired help. But she claims she’s tired by four o’clock and needs me to do all this stuff. Doesn’t she understand that I’m also tired?”
One of the hallmarks of immaturity is a lack of empathy. An immature person sees only his or her own perspective and fails to take into account the feelings and needs of others. Like a child this person assumes that others become angry because they are in a bad mood rather than because they are reacting to mistreatment.
“We start every single day with a fight! It goes like this: My husband wants me to wake him up. I do but he doesn’t get up. So I come back and try again a few minutes later. He usually growls and rolls over. I’ve got to get the children dressed and breakfast started as well as get myself ready for the day so I start to lose patience.
“On the third or fourth round of waking him up I’m usually screaming that I’m sick and tired of his behavior. He acts all innocent like he’s a victim and I’m a shrew. He says things like ‘Why do you have to scream at me? Why can’t you just be nice in the morning?’ I usually just leave the room and slam the door.”

Bad Behavior = Bad Marriage
Marriage requires maturity. This means that each person must contribute to the smooth and efficient running of the home and each must take responsibility for him or herself. Cleaning up after oneself spending within the budget functioning well as an independent adult communicating respectfully — all of these are basic requirements.
Childish behaviors wreak havoc on marriage. Making messes having temper tantrums calling names and not doing your fair share bring bad results. Sure you’re a grown-up and can do what you want now. If you don’t want to get up keep clean be honest help out spend wisely speak nicely or handle your stress appropriately — no one can make you. But don’t be surprised when your spouse doesn’t like you very much.

Living with an Immature Spouse
You can’t control others. Being the best spouse you can be means doing what’s right even when your spouse is doing what’s wrong.
It also means not facilitating immature and dysfunctional behaviors. Don’t agree to wake up a fully grown adult. Don’t agree to do more than your fair share. Take steps to protect your finances. Get as much hired help as you can afford. Do whatever is necessary to take care of yourself and create a healthy environment. Ask for what you need and seek outside help if necessary.
Immature behavior has an uncanny way of dissolving once it is witnessed and confronted by a marriage counselor. Deep down a person knows when he or she is behaving badly and no one likes to be caught in the act of doing so. Do what you can to address the issue and ask Hashem to help your spouse evolve.
Immaturity is for the most part curable. The challenge is to address it before it takes a serious toll on your relationship.