Take this quiz to find out if you have what it takes to be a Hatzolah wife

AT some point in his life, every male dreams of being a Hatzolah man. Maybe he’s a preschooler in a Hatzolah costume, perhaps he’s an ambulance-chasing bar mitzvah boy. Or maybe he’s already a young father whose mother-in-law has begun to pay a visit every Shabbos afternoon.

So whether you’re married and your husband is considering joining the ranks, or you’re in the parshah and you find that your dates have an affinity for things that beep, now is as good a time as ever to take this little quiz and find out if you have the goods to be a Hatzolah wife.

1. Can you run your own Seder? Don’t worry; it’s just until Shulchan Oreich when, miraculously, the calls wind down and all members return just in time for the glazed corned beef.
2. Do you like bright lights and deafening noise? If your husband is joining Hatzolah, there’s a good chance he does. But fear not: every Hatzolah kit comes equipped with a pair of sunglasses and a stash of ear plugs to accommodate spouses sensitive to blinding lights and blaring sirens.
3. Are you a deep sleeper? Because the battery for the radio sometimes runs low, despite efficiently configured timers and wires and random electric paraphernalia. And then it plays a catchy (read: impossibly annoying) little ditty every three minutes starting when you’re about to fall asleep. But don’t worry; it only happens on Friday nights.
4. Can you handle your kids’ boo-boos? Because your husband will always say they’re fine. A broken ankle? Ace bandage. Open head gash? Bacitracin.
   And then you must display the appropriate level of concern as he heroically leaps into the ambulance while donning his helmet and reflective vest, to race with lights and sirens to the kid down the block who is suffering from a paper cut.