I was fortunate that I never seemed to have a shortage of boys to date. And Baila and Yehudah continued to be a support for me, as did all my siblings. But it didn’t take away my loneliness. When would it finally be my turn? When would I be able to finally have a home of my own?

I kept myself very busy. I had a full-time job plus many volunteer jobs. I went to shiurim and Tehillim groups. And I learned how to talk to Hashem, both through formal tefillah and with my own words.  Davening three tefillos a day was very important to me. I would ask Hashem to please help me remain b‘simchah until He sends me my zivug.

I was in a truly happy place the night that my friend Malki’s younger sister got married. I was dancing away at her chasunah when another older single friend said to me, “How can you be so happy? She is so much younger than you. Malki has a whole family already. Don’t you feel jealous? Even a little?”

I was honestly surprised by that question. I thought for a second and answered, “No.” I was not jealous. She didn’t take away my chassan. Her wedding had nothing to do with mine. I still wished so badly for my own chasunah to happen already but I was truly happy for that night’s chassan and kallah.

I realized that my talks with Mrs. Schonfeld, my tehillim groups and shiurim, must have affected me positively.

I repeated that conversation to Mrs. Schonfeld. She responded by showering me with brachos that soon it should be my turn.

And then I met Chesky. The details of our courtship don’t matter. When I think back to the three weeks that we were dating, I can still feel the butterflies in my stomach. I remember emotions ranging the full spectrum from anxiety to euphoria.

I see myself crying at my mother’s kever, begging her to be a meilitz yosher for me as I made this momentous decision.

And I see myself standing at my vort looking gorgeous. Fingering the beautiful diamond bracelet that graced my wrist.

And then I sprang into full-fledged wedding preparation.

I was a kallah. The girl without parents was getting married!

To be continued…

(Originally featured in Teen Pages, Issue 931)