Taking help made me want to disappear into thin air

T

he doorbell rang. My first reaction was to ignore it. Bury myself under my covers. Call my husband to race miles home from work to let the woman in to take my toddler.

Said toddler let out a wail and pulled my skirt, prompting me to act quickly before the woman left.

Having an emergency appendix surgery is loads of fun, obviously. Having it in the seventh month of pregnancy is a party. Having it in the seventh month, while caring for a toddler who doesn’t yet walk and whom you aren’t allowed to lift, is like juggling a load of balls and knowing you’ll drop every single one.

Enter our amazing nation.

One member of which was standing outside my door right now, and would leave if I didn’t pull it open, pronto.

She was here to take my toddler for the morning, and I needed her desperately. It was an impossible situation, being home, unable to care for a toddler with a million needs and tantrums. It made me feel more vulnerable than anything else in this saga, and a week in, I was growing increasingly despondent.