When making airline reservations over the phone many of us might imagine that we are speaking to the typical uniformed representative firmly rooted to his or her headset and computer in a room pulsing with activity. It may come as a surprise then to find that some of our agents might be wearing exercise clothes while stationed comfortably in their home offices with the smell of supper wafting throughout the room.
In his book The World is Flat Thomas L. Friedman introduces us to Dolly the JetBlue agent who gave him a brief insight into her career. Like other home reservationists in Salt Lake City she works around twenty-five hours per week handling reservations for JetBlue Airways. Dolly’s good fortune came when JetBlue “homesourced” its entire reservation system to housewives in Utah. Just a short time ago such an endeavor would have been impossible. Today thousands of businesses and services benefit from people like Dolly who are based at their home computer (including the magazine in your hands). Ready or not there is a technological liberation that is happening all around us thanks to the growing power of microchips. People allow electronics to take care of timing the egg navigating the car and playing the stock market. Friedman points out that “Global collaboration and competition … has now been made cheaper easier and more productive for more people from more corners of the earth than at any time in the history of the world.”
Computers e-mail instant messaging cell phones and BlackBerry devices have played their roles in this outcome. Many users find that they no longer need their telephone landlines and are even removing the mailboxes from their front lawns. Our world has quickly evolved into a place where hooking up to the steady stream of technological advancements is no longer optional. The question “How will this new technology enhance my life?” has become “How should I fit my life into this new technology?” And with the Internet running freely through each innovation understanding these new technologies is more important than ever.

An Electric Saw in the Living Room
When television first entered America’s homes in the 1920s it was seen by most as a harmless medium of information and entertainment. The censorship of that era and those that followed reflected moral standards so it was not unthinkable to find a television in a heimishe home. As the years progressed however television came to reflect the gradual decay of society’s morals. By March of 1975 the trepidation of our gedolim concerning the harmful effects of television was obvious.
In his book To Kindle a Soul Rabbi Leib Kelemen author and senior lecturer mentions an advisory warning that was issued at that time by Rabbi Elazar Menachem Mann Shach Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky Rabbi Moshe Feinstein and Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetsky zichronam livrachah regarding the potentially harmful effects of television. Their basis was entirely related to Torah sources. Still it warned about psychological and developmental dangers. Rabbi Kelemen points out that in the same year secular research on the effects of television viewing was just beginning. Only a few years later thousands of similar studies had produced the same results. Today an entire network of information exists that confirm all of these findings and prove the adverse affects of television.
Over the years many people have opted to throw out their television or bar it from their home. This decision is usually influenced by the fact that most of the current TV programming contains clearly objectionable content that reflects the moral decay of our society. The precautions of keeping such content out of our homes and lives have worked … until now.
As you read these lines technicians are at work to discover more ways to pump television into our lives via the Internet. That’s because TV itself is losing its audience. Currently the television market is looking to our computers cell phones and even handheld games as vehicles for easy access to its programming. The hope is that this availability will help rejuvenate the current viewing slump.
Those who think they’re doing everything they should when they eliminate a television from their home are clearly not doing enough. The tables have turned and in our modern times the television itself is almost the least of our problems.
Enter the computer which has become just as important as the light bulb in millions of homes around the globe. While television and computers both share the potential for entertainment computers with Internet capability have become integral components of the business world and the home environment. And as Rabbi Kelemen points out they must be respected.
“A computer is not a toy ” he says. “It is a tool like an electric saw. A blanket ban on home computers is as foolish as a blanket ban on electric saws. But it is just as foolish to leave an electric saw plugged in out in your living room where there are children. Chinuch is all about teaching our children how to use life’s tools. We must know when to teach our children to use each of life’s tools and how to teach them. That requires daas Torah.”
A prominent rabbi and thinker consulted by Mishpacha feels that “there is no force stopping the Internet from being global — it is far too useful a device. It is one of the greatest discoveries in the history of mankind. Although there are those in klal Yisrael who think that they will be able to keep the Internet out of their homes and lives they must realize that it will never go away. A person must learn to adapt. The way to win the war of the Internet is not getting rid of the Internet itself. How can we?”
He goes on to state that “The initiative to ban the Internet outright is crumbling because people are beginning to understand how incredibly useful it is. The Internet can be compared to a light bulb. While light bulbs have infinite positive uses the light they provide can also make it easier for a thief to steal. Is that potential robbery enough of a reason to outlaw the light bulb?”
According to this rav the mass rallies against Internet usage in the Jewish home won’t stop the trend. Nor should that be their aim he feels. “The importance of asifos [mass gatherings] is to declare the Torah stance on the Internet. Once our gedolim can make people aware that the Internet is extremely dangerous then the Jewish people must figure out how to save themselves. The ultimate solution cannot be complete non-use of the Internet. This may work in this generation but it won’t work in the next. The only solution will come when we learn how to adapt to it while protecting ourselves and our families.”

The Dangers  
The most blatantly obvious problem of the Internet is that it is a potent device for the conveyance of tumah impurity. With one click the doors to Gehinnom can be opened wide to any Internet user.
Yet instant access to horrific impurity is far from the only Internet hazard. Many Internet users are guilty of considerable bitul zman wasting time. Hours can be wasted chasing links across the web. Even the most efficient filtering process won’t remove the addictive element of the Internet. According to a prominent rav any truly effective solutions to Internet hazards must address the addictive potential of the Internet.
In addition he points out that the Internet’s capacity as an instant conveyor of information also poses many problems. “Because this information is transmitted without being regulated anyone has the ability to write whatever he wants. Information can look very real and true and it takes a discerning eye to understand the fine lines between fact fiction opinion interpretation and manipulation.”
Another major problem is the Internet’s capacity to engage a Jew in the terrible transgression of lashon hara forbidden speech or in this case forbidden communication. “The Internet may be considered the greatest tool the yetzer hara has ever known in terms of lashon hara ” he says. “It bears remembering that there are many things a person is not allowed to say in an open forum. And the problem lies not only with the one who is conveying the message. The Chofetz Chaim also tells us that even if the information is permitted to be relayed the listener is not allowed to believe it.”
Just as the Internet can disseminate a world of Torah it can also be the vehicle allowing someone to speak lashon hara to millions. And if the readers believe the information to be true that communication can incur a myriad of further transgressions.
Another problem is use of the Internet in Internet cafes. The magnetism of these cafes has become so strong that seemingly observant Jews have been sighted visiting them on Shabbos. The popularity of Internet cafes is global. This means that when our youth spend their year learning in Israel they might access the Internet from these cafes. Frequently the Internet cafes are used to download and view TV shows update Facebook pages and check e-mail. Additionally some bochurim bring laptop computers to Israel which they use to record notes of shiurim. These and other devices can provide access to the Internet and all of its dangers.
When parents utilize a local number (popularly termed a “DSL line”) to dial their child in Israel that means that their child’s residence in Israel has a broadband Internet connection. Everyone is happy that the phone calls are free yet with a DSL line all that is needed is one bochur to hook up his laptop computer and the gates to the Internet swing wide open. Imagine the potential scenario of learning all day and then returning to an apartment with an unfiltered internet connection.

Extending the Classroom Walls
Despite the many dangers of Internet usage the computer is often touted as a valuable education medium. Indeed Dovid Weinstein head engineer of computer and telephony integration at Communication Data and Security in Spring Valley New York points out that the Internet and computers are powerful learning tools. Some schools are even providing computer training for young children — with the proper precautions of course. “In order for children to use the computer as an educational tool proper filtering and monitoring must be in place. And though it’s not perfect efforts are being made to make it much better. There is a huge market demanding a safe environment so that children can surf the Internet without being exposed to unwanted material.”
Some educators enjoy the fact that students have electronic communication. In public schools students are using laptops with Internet access as part of their curriculum. According to some teachers this extends the classroom walls and promotes active student learning because students must do something with technology. They also claim that e-mail and electronic conferencing promote conversation and even have the potential to improve literacy. But as Rabbi Leib Keleman points out: “I have yet to see a child who only had access to seforim who was deprived of access to computers and who suffered educationally as a result. There are no studies demonstrating any instances of ‘depressed IQ as a result of computer-deprivation.’”
Most universities and colleges offer online courses where credits for a degree are obtained in the privacy of one’s own home (although some courses might require fieldwork and internships). This is a desirable option for anyone wishing to avoid the harmful influences prevalent on most university campuses.
Rivka* gained experience with the Internet when she used it to put herself through graduate school — all from the comfort of her living room. “The whole research experience using the Internet is so much easier than going to the campus library and wading through hundreds of books that only give you a finite amount of information ” she attests.
Another learning opportunity is provided through Skype which allows people to talk to each other for free through voice or text from anywhere around the world. Along with webcams these technologies have enhanced Torah throughout the world enabling long-distance classes and chavrusos study partners. However such technology must also be used with caution. In some cases they have been blamed for promoting the “stranger danger” element of the Internet which has allowed for risky and even dangerous relationships.

Beyond a Game: Computers as Entertainment
Does anyone remember the primitive Atari games of the 1970s? Whether it was Asteroids or Pong all that was needed was a television some wiring and the Atari game console. The significance of this was that most homes had only one television and other members of the household had to be willing to surrender it (temporarily or long term) for someone else’s amusement.
Nowadays many homes have more than one computer so there is more of an opportunity for family members to use them as entertainment centers. Additionally the current popularity of handheld electronic games often reduces social interaction with family members as well as minimizing emphasis on reading and exercise. The question then arises whether or not there is something inherently problematic in allowing children to be entertained in this way.
Rabbi Kelemen points out that “once upon a time children had to tap into creativity and physical activity when they played. Today electronic entertainment options have persuaded an entire generation of parents into believing that their children can thrive without creative play and physical activity. And these very parents then wonder why their children lack the intellectual depth and ability to concentrate that came so naturally to their parents or grandparents.”
Rabbi Norman Lowenthal MS Ed. MSW who lectures frequently on the issues of children and Internet usage points out: “Though there is widespread concern about children accessing inappropriate content on the Internet a new arena of danger is currently gaining a foothold among our youth. This danger is known as virtual gaming.” Virtual gaming involves Internet games of all varieties (some grossly inappropriate for youth) that are played by hundreds of thousands of people across the globe each day. Recently the Associated Press reported on a study prepared for the American Medical Association that sought to “strongly promote the inclusion of video-game addiction in a widely used diagnostic manual of psychiatric illnesses. The AMA instead adopted a watered-down measure declaring that while overuse of video games and online games can be a problem for children and adults it is still premature to term this problem an addiction.” The report continues that while the AMA is not ready to classify video game and Internet overuse as an addiction parents are still urged “to closely monitor children’s use of video games and Internet.”
Yet parents themselves must also take precautions. According to another AP report in July 2007 a Nevada couple was found guilty of child neglect when it was determined that they “were so obsessed with Internet and video games that they left their babies starving and suffering other health problems.”
Already many have fallen prey to both the Internet’s addictive quality and its dangers as demonstrated by a recent phone call received by Rabbi Lowenthal. “It was from a fifth-grade rebbe ” he recalls “who recounted that one of his students had been solicited by a complete stranger while playing an online virtual reality game.”
Events in South Korea demonstrate the horrific effects that could result from virtual gaming addiction. It is the most wired country in the world with very high educational pressures. Escaping through electronic games has grown to be a very attractive outlet for children in this high-pressure system. In 2005 there were ten reported deaths — mostly teenagers and people in their twenties — due to “economy-class syndrome.” This illness gets its name from airline passengers whose blood flow is disrupted due to sitting in a cramped airplane seat for too long; in these passengers the unnatural stillness can create an embolism. The South Korean young adults were playing online games that lasted for hours or even days during which time they hardly moved. In some cases the victims had remained at their computers for as long as fifty hours without significant breaks.

Children and the Internet: Delaying the Inevitable
It is almost certain that children will be alone with computer and Internet access outside the home at some point. How can we prepare them for that crucial moment? Rabbi Kelemen feels that children need to be prevented from using the Internet until they are mature enough to handle its challenges. And when that first encounter does occur everyone agrees that firm hashkafos Torah principles will also help a child to withstand pitfalls.
How then can parents prepare their children for safe Internet use? At first glance the odds seem to be stacked against the older generation. The worst situation is the most common when children know more about the Internet than their parents. A parent can’t do much when a child knows more; it follows that parents must be computer savvy. They must learn and do their research providing filters and other protection that their children won’t be able to work around. Keeping up to date with the new technologies that we buy for our children is crucial.
After all claims one mechanech if parents don’t even know how to turn on an iPod how are they going to know what’s on it? In many cases the parent can’t even change the ringtone on his or her cell phone; meanwhile the child is circumventing the filters to access the Internet. One way to keep on top of it all is to hire a computer programmer who can provide updates on the various tools that are currently on the market. The programmer can install the proper program keep it secure and show the parents how to keep it up to date. Even if cost is an issue one expert claims that parents must be willing to lay out the extra expense for the sake of purity in their home.    
Naftali Greenwald lead developer at Advanced Data Management in Lakewood New Jersey concurs. “Parents must become more educated not only to protect their children from the Internet but also to protect themselves from it. There should be a series of checks and balances in the home so that someone else has access to the computer’s Internet activity.”
Monitoring systems like Safe Eyes Spector Pro Covenant Eyes and eBlaster oversee and log user activity. “The bottom line is that for a person to protect their home he or she must be well educated and involve someone else to ensure that they are taking the best precautions possible.”

Staying a Step Ahead of the Kids
What frustrated Bracha* the most was not the endless hours that her two sons ages eight and twelve spent on their home computer. At least they were occupied and out of the way. She was more concerned to find that they were accessing television via the Internet. Apparently the filtering they had installed just wasn’t living up to its promise of keeping her children safe.
On the other hand Laura’s* children ages five nine and fifteen are not Internet savvy at all. That’s because they hardly use their home computer.
“I am totally against children accessing the Internet. Even with filters it’s just not a place for them. It’s like having a loaded gun in your home and you don’t know when it’s going to hurt someone.
“When I grew up it was customary to consult an encyclopedia to do research for school. In today’s world my children and I must do research via the Internet for the most up-to-date information. In this case I sit with my child at the computer and we do the project together. I know I have to be very careful because if I mistype something it could send us to a dreadful website.”
Unlike Laura many of today’s parents are simply not as knowledgeable as their young children when it comes to the Internet. Like anything else the older a person is the more difficult it is to adapt to new things. One mechanech points out that there are two things working against us: One is that the world has never seen such a proliferation of technology. “We are inundated daily by so many new technologies that we have no idea which ones we should use or not. Second who has time to sit and learn all their features?”
According to Rabbi Lowenthal when it comes to protecting our children the solution lies in parenting as well as in understanding and utilizing the tools that are available. “The only thing that makes everything work is parenting. This generation of parents has a difficult time saying no to their children and setting limits which is a major part of the problem. The key is rules with relationship. Children need us to set limits but they also need to know that we will listen to their concerns.”
Rabbi Shea Ryback vice principal at Yeshiva Nesivos Ohr in Lakewood points out that it’s very difficult for mechanchim to do anything about the Internet havoc when parents allow their children to own Internet-capable devices.
“In many homes both parents work and the atmosphere can become quite hectic. In so many ways today’s parents are simply losing control of their children.
“As a result some parents have forgotten how to say no to their child and permit an endless stream of electronics into their homes.”
He points out that a parent might complain that the child is not focusing on his work. But when that child is inundated with the latest electronic games and entertainment “it’s very likely that he’s not going to sit down and learn. In addition even when the material is clean it is usually filled with values that are antithetical to Judaism.”
Compounding the challenges for the modern-day parent is the fact that today’s kids may be savvy at breaking passwords and bypassing other computer safeguards. And even in cases where children have no ulterior motives sometimes objectionable material comes through without looking for it. If the web address is typed in with even one wrong letter or number the computer can send the user to a website filled with tumah.
It’s nothing short of heartbreaking to review the numbers and ages of our youth whose lives have been damaged by the hours they’ve spent viewing and interacting with inappropriate Internet material.
Despite parents’ best intentions Internet addiction and misuse have taken on frightening proportions among youngsters even those from solidly observant homes.
“These young people who have misused the Internet may be in a tremendous amount of pain because they’ve seen inappropriate things and they feel that they can’t tell their parents or rebbeim. Often their greatest fear is that their parents will take away their computer ” maintains Rabbi Lowenthal. When a parent realizes that a child has misused the Internet they may be shocked and horrified. However some experts believe that the worst thing a parent can do is overreact by throwing out the computer. Older teens who’ve had Internet access for years will likely just “go underground” and find access somewhere else. Conversely in certain peer circles there is already an acceptance of this behavior among teens and their friends and they may not exhibit any concern.
One mechanech sums it up poignantly: “Unfortunately each horrific situation is only one of many. When I hear about these scenarios I have only one question to ask: Where are the parents?”

It’s Not Just Internet
No matter how fast we try to eliminate Internet challenges new technologies crop up that push the limits even more. Using an unsecured wireless router the Internet (and other shared files on your computer) can be accessed not only from any room in your home but also by anyone sitting with a laptop or other such device in front of your house. WIFI the common method of wireless networking can enable any computer as well as some inexpensive devices to connect to the Internet if there is a WIFI antenna nearby. With the proliferation of wireless networking these signals can be found in most residential neighborhoods. Although these wireless access points can be passworded to prevent others from accessing them they are most often left unlocked and are easily accessible. In addition free public-access WIFI networks can be found in many locations.
Many cell phones have Internet capability and present the same issues as computers. They are fully capable of browsing websites sending e-mails instant messaging and even viewing movies and television. If one decides to allow a child to use a cell phone a model that only permits very limited services is recommended.
Parents who don’t stay updated on these dangerous developments may unwittingly provide their children with an entrance pass to virtual Gehinnom.
As Dovid Weinstein explains other dangers exist beyond Internet usage. For example some parents who are not technologically savvy might buy their children iPods or other such devices for afikomen or birthday gifts. They might not realize that a computer must be accessed in order to get the entertainment material for them. If there isn’t a computer in the home then it’s on to the friend’s house and possibly unacceptable music (or videos) from the vast array of choices on the Internet. (Another problem that gets little attention is the fact that some users may freely share the music on their computers not realizing that this practice may not be halachically acceptable. It is advisable to consult a rav in this matter.)
Then there’s the seemingly innocent webcam a camera connected to one’s home computer. Their benefit for chavrusa learning has already been discussed. However Rabbi Lowenthal points out that “although webcams or cameras connected to computers have wonderful uses such as allowing grandparents in the US to see their grandchildren in Eretz Yisrael or allowing the hearing-impaired to communicate with their friends and video relay services they do have a darker side as well. Webcams can be very dangerous; they open up opportunity for visual communication with the whole world. There are innumerable websites dedicated to nefarious uses of webcams. Unsupervised use of these devices by children should be out of the question.”
While many parents take precautions against the Internet itself these same parents may freely allow their children to engage in e-mail and instant messaging. In these areas as well disaster could be just a click away.
Admittedly in the business world e-mail is an incredible tool. One can communicate instantly with a coworker or client and get information without wasting time on the phone. Companies value e-mails because they usually leave a trail. Accountability exists since there is proof that the information was provided to clients and companies. In addition whole files can be sent instantly. Larger files that in the past had to be faxed or took days to send are received within the blink of an eye with no postage incurred.
Yet without the proper spam and junk-mail folders protecting a computer one instant of curiosity about an unknown e-mail can send a person into viewing the depths of tumah. “E-mails and instant messaging can be extremely dangerous if they are not used properly ” cautions Dovid Weinstein. “They can be more dangerous than a phone conversation because the person on the other end is sometimes anonymous and parents don’t necessarily know who their children are in touch with. The danger is the predators that lie in wait. They pretend to be friends and turn out to be fiends. Predators act as if they have  either an adult’s or child’s same interests and goals yet in truth their only goal is to arrange a dangerous meeting. Children may not be careful when they exchange their e-mail addresses or other information.”

Facing the Facts in Lakewood
Last year the Lakewood community took an unprecedented step towards dealing with the Internet crisis when it brought together leading gedolim to address thousands of concerned members of klal Yisrael. Rabbi Avrohom Anisfeld principal of Yeshiva Ketana of Lakewood and Rabbi Nechemiah Gottlieb principal of Bais HaTorah of Lakewood along with Rabbi Mordechai Levi spearheaded the effort with the guidance and support of Rabbi Mattisyahu Salomon.
While some may have interpreted the event as a rally against any and all Internet use this was not the objective. The main focus was to create awareness of Internet dangers and to establish guidelines to isolate children from the Internet.
Rabbi Gottlieb points out that the goal of the gathering was not to tell adults to totally throw out the Internet. “The rabbanim were saying that while they understood that it’s impossible for some people to avoid using the Internet at least those who do should be aware of its dangers and at all costs protect their children from Internet access. Additionally it was hoped that by focusing on the dangers of the Internet for children parents would be more inclined to protect themselves as well.”
By and large these leaders feel that the gathering was a success. “It was a beautiful process to put together the asifah as well as a set o takanos [guidelines]. Every principal was involved. We did something that unified the whole community and influenced people to take action ” recounts Rabbi Gottleib.
A set of takanos was established forbidding Internet access in the home unless it is necessary for parnassah livelihood; even in such a case specific safeguards must be in place in order to have it. A person who feels that he has a legitimate need presents his situation to one of the designated rabbis. The rav explores the need and outlines the safety precautions that would be required for the ishur approval. Once a person can state that these guidelines are in place his ishur is stamped by the ishur office and confirmation is relayed to his children’s schools. Of course everything is based on an honor system.
Rabbi Gottlieb says that the response has been fabulous. “Over three thousand people attended and we didn’t hear one cynical remark. We did not expect such an overwhelmingly positive response. There were moving stories told afterwards of people who disconnected the Internet in their homes including wealthy businessmen and kollel families who rely on the Internet for their meager parnassah. “Soon after the asifah many cities followed Lakewood in addressing the issue of protecting children from the dangers of the Internet. While the precise solutions that Lakewood employed may be particularly suited to its community there are models being pursued by other communities across North America that were developed for their specific needs. As a matter of fact Lakewood has established a Vaad (The Advisory Committee for the Protection of our Communities from the Pitfalls of the Internet) to help communities craft viable approaches and solutions for their individual needs.
“The bottom line is that everybody no matter what type of community they are in can afford their children more protection. While it is true that the negative influences of the Internet will continue to pervade our lives we shouldn’t give up on searching for solutions to deal with this problem.”
Rabbi Lowenthal acknowledges that “because of the gatherings parents are finally listening and awareness has been raised. Now the goal must be to take action. The challenge is that there is a shortage of training. Parents want to be more proactive but they are not sure of what to do. Proper follow-up would include classes for parents educating them to deal with Internet dangers and the technologies they may not yet understand.”

Not Just for Children: Filters and Failsafes
Rabbanim educators and computer experts agree: When allowing Internet access on their home computer it is vital that parents accept an obligation to stay one step ahead of their children in understanding its mechanics. If a parent is not computer literate then the children should simply not have access to the computer unless a capable adult is present.
However it bears remembering that the problems of Internet usage aren’t limited to children and as such the solutions shouldn’t be limited to the younger generation. Parents must protect themselves as well. With hundreds of Internet filters and monitoring software on the market however it can be difficult to know which to choose.
Mishpacha approached Dovid Weinstein to demystify the filtering process. He points out that there are two main ways to filter the Internet. One involves a “white list” and the other a “blacklist.”
“A white list is a list of acceptable websites. Only a site that is on the list can be viewed by that particular computer.
“The downside of a white list is that it removes the ability to freely research a specific topic. It limits one’s resources for new information since the only web pages that can be seen are those that are included on the white list. Each and every web page that you want to visit has to be part of this list. This method is more ‘hands on ’ since it requires a user to first add a web page to the list before it can be viewed.”
As Dovid points out the blacklist works in the opposite way. This is the type of filter that most people have on their computers. “A blacklist allows in every web page except for those that are on the blacklist. Most of these filters have a scanning system that automatically adds web pages to the blacklist based on the context or research provided by technicians. Their aim is to filter objectionable material before it appears on your screen.
“The problem with the blacklist filter is that current filtering software and the people behind the objectionable websites are in a race to stay one step ahead of the other. In this scenario it is possible for undesirable material to slip through the filter.
“In all the whitelist filtering method is more effective than the blacklist because it only allows your computer to go on specified sites. But the blacklist gives you more freedom to have a truer Internet experience with millions of pages of information at your fingertips.”
YeshivaNet provides access to business-oriented sites Torah sites informational sites and shopping sites. A user can request a site to be added to their list but it first must be approved by YeshivaNet. The idea is to not provide the Internet outright but rather to provide websites that are needed by the user.
KosherNet also uses a baseline level of filtering that blocks access to material that is universally considered objectionable. No user can override the white list baseline level of filtering that keeps clearly objectionable material off limits.
JNet offers both the white list and blacklist filtering methods with the option to choose less or more filtering. A user can filter the Internet without completely blocking certain categories.
K9 (k9webprotection.com) Internet filters provide free web-filtering software for home use. When turned on it prevents the computer user from viewing websites that contain unwanted content and keeps a password-protected log of all sites visited. Some filters offer a feature that will automatically shut down the computer if a user tries twice in a row to go to any site that it’s supposed to block.
Naftali Greenwald explains that one of the main problems with filtering is that what one person calls objectionable content may not be objectionable to another. This means that even with filtering it is possible for certain undesirable material to get through.
“Something like Norton Internet Security comes with a productivity control where parents can designate what is appropriate for their computer. But this can only filter out what our host culture considers objectionable. It is not necessarily up to certain filtering standards.
“The truth is that any filter is not going to help unless a person uses it with seichel [intelligence].”
Rabbi Lowenthal feels that filtering is not enough. “It is maybe 80 percent effective and only helps in keeping honest people honest. Filters can lull parents into a false sense of security. There are just too many ways that filtering can be circumvented. Filters can be used but not without monitoring and blocking. Monitoring and blocking programs are offered by many of the popular Internet security programs and are included in Microsoft’s new Windows Vista operating system.”
Monitoring features record or log several aspects of computer usage: websites accessed e-mails instant messenger conversations — even keystrokes typed and images displayed on the screen. All of these features are adjustable to the level of privacy needed. This software must be used with great care. If it’s introduced to the household in an open and positive way it can encourage children to control their usage even when a parent is not directly supervising the computer. Of course monitoring software is only effective if someone actually makes use of the logs and follows up the information that’s been recorded.
Blocking software is more preemptive than monitoring software. It can control which user can access the Internet and when. This feature can also be custom-tailored to allow certain aspects of Internet usage while disallowing others; for example it might permit e-mail but block surfing or instant messaging.
Rabbi Lowenthal suggests that users monitor each other as well. “Anyone whom the person respects can provide the monitoring — a brother chavrusa friend or spouse. Many find that once the privacy aspect is taken away from the Internet the lure of inappropriate Internet use is not as appealing. Care should be taken that everyone using a computer with monitoring software installed knows that their privacy is limited on that computer or user name. Parents who do not allow Internet access on their home computer are advised to take the necessary precautions as well. Monitoring and blocking software can track other uses of the computer such as videos games etc. and prevent the computer from being modified to connect to the Internet. Through monitoring and blocking parents can become proactive in supervision and prevention.”

A Disease Not a Weakness
And let there be no mistake: no matter how firmly entrenched in Judaism no matter how happily married no matter how honest a person is no one should trust him or herself to outwit the temptations of unregulated Internet. The lure posed by the Internet can be very very insidious — and very powerful.
When Boruch* received that first unsolicited e-mail his intention was to ignore it. The mountain of work piled up on his desk did not allow for timely distractions and he did not want to tamper with his sterling reputation of leaving a cleared organized desk at the end of the day. But later as he waited on hold with one of his clients he checked his e-mail once more inadvertently opening it and a whole new bag of troubles.
“At first I thought to ignore everything I had seen but by the end of the day and into the next it was the only thing I could think of. When I returned to work the next day I checked my e-mail again. This time there were a few more similar e-mails awaiting me. It seems that by clicking on the link in the first e-mail the day before my e-mail information was sent to other objectionable websites.”
Soon Boruch was devoting more and more time to his new occupation. Of course he felt ashamed and embarrassed. He thought of the humiliation that he would feel if any of his coworkers found out. But that was not enough to stop him.
“After a few months everyone noticed a change in me. My wife constantly asked me what was wrong but I would only give her short answers. My relationship with my children suffered as well. It was devastating to think of how I had failed them as a husband and father.”
It only took six months for his life to fall apart completely.
“My boss who had noticed the decline in my work effort by the piles of papers accumulating on my desk decided to secretly monitor my computer activity. Then came the day when he pulled me aside to tell me that my work was insufficient and the company was losing money because of my new habit. In short he had to let me go.”
From his practice in Los Angeles California Rabbi Yehudah Mintz an addiction counselor who specializes in Internet addiction has helped hundreds of such Internet addicts from all over the globe. These wounded souls represent every color in our hashkafah rainbow — from litvishe to chassidishe from roshei yeshivos to businessmen kollelmen to bochurim young and old. Many have contacted him via e-mail. The desperation of a recent e-mail to Rabbi Mintz was inherent in the one word subject heading: HELP.
While the lure for men is obvious hundreds of women have also been pulled in by the fantasy element and enticement of chat rooms. “Some women find that chat rooms give them a chance to step out of their lives and become someone else; this can be an addicting element if she is feeling unfulfilled.”
Rabbi Mintz acknowledges that pulling oneself out of such a deep dark hole takes remarkable bravery and honesty.
“It takes a tremendous degree of courage to make that first call. This is because addicts convince themselves that they can handle it all and solve their addiction through more learning and davening. Of course we must not negate the power of Torah and tefillah. But there must be awareness that this is something deeper than the work of the yetzer hara. It’s a disease.”
Rabbi Mintz’s phone line is always available. Anonymous callers are given code numbers by which they are then referred to in the future. Rabbi Mintz respects the desire of his clients to remain anonymous.
“One sufferer came from a large family and endured emotional and physical abuse as a very young child. This was the setting that led him to seek an area of escape and fantasy in order to numb his feelings. (Incidentally the addict typically turns to an addiction in order to numb themselves and fill a spiritual void. The exact nature of the addiction is often irrelevant. The main thing is the desire to escape reality.)
“The addiction followed him from childhood to adulthood from the leading yeshivos he attended and throughout his marriage. He went to a few therapists along the way but every one treated his issue like a psychological problem rather than an addiction. In fact there is a very big difference between the two schools of thought.
“One day he reached a point of desperation and finally made the call. Today he is a totally different person. He continually does a tremendous amount of work on himself each day and deserves full credit for it.”
Rabbi Mintz has seen that success replicated many times. While recovery entails ongoing work he maintains that the outlook for a sufferer can be positive. “If they are faithful to a specified program on a daily basis they can have a daily reprieve and live a beautiful spiritual and healthy life ” he attests.
Thankfully there are people organizations and professionals who can help sufferers overcome their this disease of addiction. Many are reaching out to such organizations and participating in specially organized conferences held throughout the world. It is here where addicts can come together acknowledge their problem and meet in groups for chizuk support and eventually learn to live with it..
“The message I want to relay ” says Rabbi Mintz “is that a person doesn’t have to die by this disease. He or she just has to learn to live with it.”

Lessons for Life
“Learning to live with it” is an apt way to express our generation’s mission. It is highly unlikely that the next generation will be able to avoid or ignore Internet entirely; yet it would be foolhardy to minimize or dismiss the hazards. How then can we effectively meet the challenge of the Internet age?
In our quest to create viable realistic solutions we must keep in mind that the solution for one community may not be the solution for another. Realistic solutions must take into account many individualized factors.
The above treatment is but a partial picture of the dangers benefits and approaches to the Internet. We welcome our readers’ feedback; we can all gain by sharing suggestions solutions and practical experience. By pooling our collective resources perhaps we can develop a viable solution that will realistically address the Internet challenge.

Anyone wishing to contact Rabbi Yehudah Mintz anonymously is welcome to do so at (310) 505-0439

*Fictional names have been used