I would say the words my heart dictated and let Hashem take care of the rest

S

he walked into shul and recognized me immediately, though I did not have the same instant awareness for her. I only took a second look because she was staring. Who was she, that she focused her gaze on me with such intensity? Was I supposed to know her?

It was Simchas Torah, and everyone was giddy. The women’s section of the shul where my son, daughter-in-law, and grandchildren planned to enjoy the early children’s hakafos was spilling over with happy clusters of families and friends. The atmosphere could not have been more jubilant and celebratory. People were happy to be there, happy to greet one another, happy to have reached this point. I, too, joined in the festivities, feeling young again as I held my newest grandson close to my heart and introduced him to my friends.

I turned around again and there she was, smiling at me.

“Mrs. Zirkind…?” she asked, stepping toward me with some hesitancy.

That’s when it came to me: Osnat Kuchinsky! My student from long, long ago. My heart swelled within me, and my eyes filled. I was thrilled to see her again. I threw my free arm around her shoulders and gave her the warmest, most loving hug I could while holding the baby. “Osnat! Wow, wow, wow! How wonderful to see you, after such a long time!”

She looked so radiant that it made sense that I didn’t recognize her. When Osnat and I had parted all those years ago, she did not hold herself with such poise. She was a little hunched, a little disenfranchised, a little uninspired. So much was happening in her young life at the time; so much over which she had little control. She was being pulled by forces disinclined to value the Torah perspectives I was trying to instill. We’d played a little back-and-forth in the classroom, where she spiked her questions with jaded accusations, prompted by honest and earned anger over events she was powerless to put right. I had worried about her. She expressed a need to leave the cocoon of our Torah-true school and explore other landscapes. I’d understood her and had also been concerned.