The B.A.N.G. Gang: Success!
"There were a bunch of dogs hanging around in the front garden, no idea why. If it happens again, I’ll have to complain to the city"
A
ron tries to sneak into the house, while simultaneously closing the front door on the dogs following him. He shuts the door almost on a poodle’s nose, and heaves a sigh of relief — only to find himself face-to-face with his irate mother.
Characters:
- ARON, a slow-moving fellow who likes to take life easy
- BORUCH, trying to cope with a big sister who always knows better
- NOSON, clever and articulate, often talks in italics to make a point
- GERSHON, creative, and quick to think of new ideas
Scene 5
ARON’S MOTHER: Aha! Just the person I’m looking for. Do you know anything about a spilled jug of gravy on the kitchen counter?
ARON: A spilled jug? [He plays for time — then light dawns.] Oh my, that brown stuff was gravy! And it splashed on my shoes. No wonder those dogs were all over me….
ARON’S MOTHER: Dogs? What dogs? [She stops short.] And what’s that noise outside?
ARON [looking uncomfortable]: Er… what noise do you mean?
ARON’S MOTHER: Can’t you hear it? Something’s scratching at the door. I’m going to check it out.
ARON: Yikes! Um… it’s probably just the wind blowing or something.
[Loud barking is heard]
ARON’S MOTHER: And what’s that?
ARON [looking desperate]: Um… maybe a bee buzzing very loudly?
[ARON’s father’s car pulls up just then. They hear the car door slamming shut and his footsteps coming closer — then stopping.]
ARON’S FATHER: What the — Scat! Get out, you vile creatures! Go! Whew. Good riddance!
[ARON’S FATHER enters the house.] There were a bunch of dogs hanging around in the front garden, no idea why. If it happens again, I’ll have to complain to the city.
[ARON realizes he’d better clean up the gravy before he gets into any more hot water. He wipes down the counter. Then he figures he’d better scrub his shoes if he doesn’t want any more dogs sniffing around. He can’t help looking longingly at his favorite couch, which now seems further away than ever.]
[Meanwhile, over at NOSON’s house, NOSON is muttering to himself]: Hmm. I’m the only B.A.N.G GANG member who hasn’t actually done a helping job yet. I’d better think of something before our next teleconference this afternoon. Now, what can I do?
[He looks around. The kitchen is sparkling. His three efficient older sisters have cleaned the house from top to bottom. There’s nothing else to do. Then he catches sight of his kid sister KAYLA, coloring at the kitchen table, looking anxious.]
NOSON: Hey, you all right? [Announces importantly] I belong to a gang that likes to help people. Do you need some help?
KAYLA: Depends. Do you know how to color inside the lines?
NOSON: [hiding a smile] Yeah. Do you want me to help you color in your picture?
KAYLA: Mm-hmm. Teacher told us it’s ’portant to make it really, really nice. That’s why I’m using my packet of a hundred markers.
NOSON: Okay, no problem, where should I color?
KAYLA: Here, up in this corner. Do the sky. No!!! Stop!!!!! What are you doing?
NOSON: Coloring the sky blue. What’s the problem?
KAYLA: You’re using only one color. I told you it’s gotta be really, really nice. So you gotta use lotsa different colors. Look!
[KAYLA demonstrates how she makes a dot in one color, and then another in a different color, and then yet another color. NOSON stares in disbelief.]
NOSON: Color with dots? In a hundred different colors? It’s gonna take forever!
KAYLA: [shrugs]That’s why I need help.
[NOSON buries his head in his hands.]
KAYLA: Here’s the red, come on! Why are you resting now in middle of coloring?
[NOSSON reluctantly continues making dots, alternating the colors under KAYLA’s eagle eye. He doesn’t notice his parents and two sisters enter the kitchen.]
KAYLA: Noson’s helping me. ’Cos he’s got a gang that helps people.
SISTER 1: Wow! Noson’s helping KAYLA with her famous markers.
SISTER 2 [muttering under her breath] Make that infamous.
NOSON’S PARENTS: Let’s give three cheers to Noson and his gang.
[ENTER SISTER 3, holding the phone. It’s the B.A.N.G GANG on teleconference.]
NOSON’S PARENTS AND SISTERS: Hip hip hooray! THREE CHEERS FOR THE B.A.N.G GANG!
[tinny voices emit from the phone]:
ARON: Huh?
BORUCH: What’s going on?
GERSHON: Noson?
NOSON: Guys, we did it! The B.A.N.G GANG has scored a smash hit! But I can’t talk about it right now. I’m feeling a little — er — off color.
End of Act 1. Watch out for the next episode in Act 2, with some more hilarious adventures of the B.A.N.G GANG!
(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 813)
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