"I’ve got an idea! My mother’s stocked up on shoe polish. I’m gonna go and polish the whole family’s shoes!"

Characters:

• BORUCH, trying to cope with a big sister who always knows better
• ARON, a slow-moving fellow who likes to take life easy
• NOSSON, clever and articulate, often talks in italics to make a point
• GERSHON, creative, and quick to think of new ideas

Our four schoolfriends, aka The B.A.N.G GANG, are still stuck at home due to the pandemic. They are about to begin their next joint teleconference, and are keen to catch up with Gershon, whose mopping mission the previous week ended in disaster.

BORUCH: Hey guys, you there?

NOSSON: Yeah, just had to get my kid sister off the phone. She was having a crucial conversation with her friend about — get this — how to color in your parshah picture without going out of the lines. Gimme a break! Hey, is Aron here?

ARON: [yawns] Yeah, I’m here.

BORUCH: Where’s Gershon? Gershon?

[There is no reply]

NOSSON: Hmm. I’ll try him on the other line and see where he is.

[A ring tone is heard on the speakerphone, and Gershon's mother's voice comes on the line]

[Enter GERSHON’S MOTHER]: Hello? Can I help you?

NOSSON. Hi, it’s Nosson. Is Gershon there? We’re waiting for him to join our teleconference.

[MOTHER'S voice turns icy]: Gershon is currently unavailable.

[A little girl’s voice pipes up] Gershon can’t come to da phone ’cos he’s grounded, na na na!

GERHSON’S MOTHER: Dobra Baila, will you please be quiet!

DOBRA BAILA: But dat’s what you said. Because of da kugel that—

GERSHON’S MOTHER: Dobra Baila Schwartz, go and play right now! Boys, unfortunately Gershon will not be able to join you today. Goodbye. [click]