W e were visiting my parents back in Boston and the long walk to shul I remember as being a real pain when I was a kid was now a great gift. It gave me some extra time to spend with my father an oncologist and my boys.

But on Shabbos afternoon about five minutes before we were slated to head back for Minchah my dad’s pager started buzzing and he was forced to answer a call about a very ill patient who needed admission to the hospital. Having been used to my dad’s work as a cancer specialist since I was a kid I quickly gathered that he was not going to be able make the walk to shul that afternoon. My oldest son Moshe Dovid however was quite disappointed.

“Why can’t Zeidy just tell them to go to the hospital like you do so that he can come with us?” he asked as we headed out the door.

“Zeidy’s patients are sick in a different way than Abba’s patients ” I began to explain.

Moshe Dovid politely interrupted “And Zeidy is the only one who can tell the doctors and nurses at the hospital how to help his patients to get better the quickest?”

“You got it.”

“So since Zeidy is doing this mitzvah then he is patur from doing the mitzvah of going to shul with us?”

I squeezed his hand playfully and told him “Yep. But now we get some time together which is great.”

We schmoozed about school the parshah and about the different kinds of trees they had in Boston as opposed to those we had gotten used to in Eretz Yisrael. But soon Moshe Dovid changed the subject and asked “Abba didn’t you want to be the same kind of doctor as Zeidy?”

I thought for a moment before answering: “Zeidy is a great doctor who helps save so many lives. But to be honest I wasn’t too good at being the same kind of doctor as Zeidy.”

“So you had to do something else because you weren’t good at being that kind of doctor?” he asked somewhat sadly.

“It was totally okay ” I said. “Hashem might not have made me good at being an oncologist but He did make me good at being a psychiatrist.”

“You’re good at talking to people and helping them not to be scared or sad or knowing if they need a medication to help?”

“And I try to help people to get along with their families and their friends. I’m so grateful that Hashem gave me the skills to help people every single day.”

Moshe Dovid nodded in approval. “That sounds good Abba. It sounds like Hashem gave you a good job for you.”

“Rabbi Naftali Bier [rosh kollel in Boston] once told me that Hashem does a huge chesed by giving everyone a different set of skills and talents for different kinds of work. If everyone wanted to be either a cardiologist or an accountant then no one would want to be a teacher or a lawyer. What a nice thing that Hashem gives each of us the ability to pick a path that’s right for us.”

My son thought for a few moments and then said “It’s the same way with doing chesed right? Some people love giving tzedakah and other people like fixing up the shul. And remember you told me about your friend whose wife always cooks a Shabbos meal for another family each week? And Ima helps the women when they come to talk to her about how hard it is for them at home. She’s a good listener which is her chesed. She also reminds you to be a mensch.”

I smiled at the last comment and replied “Each of us has our own things that Hashem sent us here to do.”

“I need to find out what I’m here to do soon ” my son said.

“Hashem will make it clear to you. Right now your job is to always be ready to help someone so that you never miss a chance to do a chesed.”

Moshe Dovid agreed and we headed into shul for Minchah.

Half an hour later during the derashah at Seudah Shlishis a disheveled young man walked into the room and loudly wished everyone a Shabbat Shalom. The guy sitting next to me whispered “He’s one of your people ” and laughed thinking it was funny to share the obvious truth that the fellow was mentally ill.

The young man put down his paper bags and began ravenously eating egg salad when my son perceptively asked “He looks little on the inside even though he’s big on the outside. Is he someone you can help Abba?”

We bentshed davened Maariv made Havdalah and the kehillah members went out to their cars to drive home. The young disheveled man stood on the steps of the shul and waved goodbye to most folks who paid him varying amounts of attention depending on their tolerance for his mental illness and their relationship with his family.

As we prepared to leave Moshe Dovid asked “Why aren’t we giving him a ride home?”

It was a heck of a point so I pulled up and asked the young man if he wanted to hop in. He shrugged his shoulders uncommittedly but started coming over when my son climbed into the back leaving the front seat open.

Grateful for the gesture the young man excitedly introduced himself: “Fishel like a fish!”

He then started to give us directions with wild gesticulations as my son laughed quietly from the back seat. I shot Moshe Dovid a semi-stern glance to remind him to keep Fishel’s feelings in mind. After a 20-minute circuitous route around the neighborhood we wound up at Fishel’s house which turned out to be a mere five blocks from the shul.

Fishel had a few things to share with us about ghosts that he’d tried to chase away from his home and different gedolim from prewar Europe who had been involved in kashering his kitchen. Moshe Dovid sat quietly as I nodded in a respectful manner. Fishel suddenly started crying and then asked for a hug. He was happy we’d driven him home and told us how most of the time he walked home alone which made him feel very lonely Motzaei Shabbos. I was more than happy to hug Fishel and as he got out of the car and thanked us Moshe Dovid rolled down his window to wish Fishel a shavua tov.

As we drove home Moshe Dovid said “Different people are good at different things. Zeidy is good at being a regular doctor and you’re good at helping people that other people think are unstable.”

Moshe Dovid continued “And really everyone is good at something because even Fishel is good at making us feel good for doing chesed. If he wasn’t so grateful that we gave him a ride maybe we would say next time ‘It’s too late to drive him home ’ or ‘Someone else can do it.’ Then we’d miss out on the chance to do chesed.”

“Luckily I have you to remind me ” I told him.

“You already have Ima to remind you to be a mensch Abba. Luckily I have other things that Hashem made me good at too.”

Originally featured in Mishpacha Issue 669. Jacob L. Freedman is a psychiatrist and business consultant based in Jerusalem. He serves as the medical director of services for English-speakers at Bayit Cham a national leader providing mental health treatment and outreach within the religious community. Dr. Freedman can be reached most easily through his website www.drjacoblfreedman.com.