A year later and the nation still connects to the tremendous kiddush Hashem effected by the mothers of the three murdered boys. But the lesson for us is even deeper. For we all have the power to uplift those around us and bring about real change whether we’ve reached a worldwide audience or just our small circle of family and friends
It was a year ago this week that the tragic kidnapping and murder of “our three boys” took place. There have unfortunately been other terror attacks since but somehow this one left a deep indelible mark on our national consciousness perhaps because of its association with the war in Gaza that followed on its heels bringing more death in its wake; or perhaps because of an awakened feeling of national unity as the country joined in prayers and hope. May the blood of all the victims be avenged.
While Israel’s army and police searched desperately for signs of life from the boys in the best case or their bodies in the worst scenario one small seemingly tangential occurrence shone a ray of precious light into the heavy darkness of the ongoing drama.
A group of teenagers peers of the kidnapped boys were davening at the Kosel for the safe return of Gil-Ad Eyal and Naftali. Mrs. Rachel Fraenkel Naftali’s mother was there praying along with them and after the tefillah she approached them and said the memorable words “HaKadosh Baruch Hu isn’t our employee.” Yes we must daven and yes our prayers have their effect but the Creator of the World doesn’t have to do what we say. Our merciful Father and Maker knows whether it’s best to answer our prayers or not. His understanding is unlimited while we see only from the perspective of our own suffering.
Undoubtedly all of this mother’s fears and hopes were focused on the welfare of her son yet in one succinct remark she expressed a mighty faith in the Creator revealing herself as a bas chorin a truly liberated personality that wasn’t submerged entirely in her own trauma. At that moment her concern was that the teenagers gathered there in prayer might chalilah lose their faith if it turned out that the boys they were praying for were not found alive. This mother’s ability to concern herself with their emunah during her own harrowing ordeal showed Jewish heroism that shone out to touch others near and far. Her holy words left a purifying influence on everyone who heard them making a vast kiddush Hashem. Despite the natural human tendency to return to business as usual after the curtain comes down on a public drama and despite all that has happened since the impression of that kiddush Hashem remains strong to this day.
Another astonishing remark from one of the bereaved mothers also demonstrated the ability to rise above personal anguish. Mrs. Bat-Galim Shaer Gil-Ad’s mother said that throughout those dreadful days of worry and the days of mourning that followed she sensed the presence of the Shechinah in their home. Her observation is powerfully instructive for us all. The pasuk says of HaKadosh Baruch Hu “Imo Anochi b’tzarah — I am with him in trouble.” When a Jew is beset by troubles the Shechinah is indeed right there suffering as it were along with him. It is HaKadosh Baruch Hu Who brings the trouble upon him and at the same time it is HaKadosh Baruch Hu Who is by his side sharing the pain and bringing relief by His very Presence. Similarly our Sages said that the Shechinah hovers at the head of a sickbed meaning that HaKadosh Baruch Hu is especially close to anyone who is in crisis. This courageous mother’s ability to feel that Divine Presence can serve to strengthen in each one of us the knowledge that we are never left to face our struggles alone lost in space with nothing to lean on.
By looking at the situation from an all-encompassing spiritual perspective Mrs. Shaer’s observation also staves off the troubling questions that are liable to arise in wounded hearts questions like “Why me? Why is G-d doing this to me?” or other expressions of doubt and anger toward HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Everyone who heard her transcendent remarks could surely feel a slight sense of the Shechinah’s comforting Presence that she herself felt in the midst of her anguish.
Yes a year has passed since that national tragedy in which three families merited making a vast kiddush Hashem before the entire Jewish People and with their personal greatness teaching a precious lesson to us all. Each of us in his own way feels the influence of their nobility of spirit infused with the true emunah that brought them to that high level. And when another person rises to meet a challenge it lifts us up as well and can actually change us. Therein lies the message we should internalize: Each one of us bears a responsibility to be mekadesh Sheim Shamayim through our conduct in all situations for we all have the power to uplift those around us whether or not we see that influence reaching a worldwide audience as it did in the case of the three mothers. Even if our influence reaches only our small circle of family and friends we still change the world for better or worse with our every action. Let us take care that our influence should be positive and let that be a merit for the kedoshim Hy”d.

Souls of the Eirev Rav I recently asked a broad-minded talmid chacham how it can be that Jews can just go and slander their fellow Jews before the nations of the world.
“What are you referring to?” he asked me.
“The phenomenon is nothing new but I’m referring specifically to the group that calls itself ‘Breaking the Silence ’ which is now conducting a campaign in Zurich to present Israeli soldiers who fought in Operation Protective Edge as deliberate killers of Palestinian men women and children and to highlight Israel’s supposed abuse and oppression of Palestinians in Judea and Samaria.”
“What is their goal?” the Rav probed.
“They claim to be concerned with the human rights of the oppressed Arabs. They want the State of Israel to be more ethical and its soldiers to be more careful not to kill innocent civilians who aren’t taking part in the fighting.”
“And what exactly is bothering you?”
“It bothers me that young Israelis don’t mind slandering their country in front of the nations of the world. It bothers me that instead of arguing their position before the authorities here in Israel they go and wage a smear campaign against us in Switzerland as if the Swiss weren’t anti-Semitic enough already. It bothers me that they want to convince the gentiles that the Jews of Eretz Yisrael are inhumane unethical and cruel almost like ISIS. If they want to voice criticism let them do it here in Israel… but to go to the umos ha’olam and slander us there when nothing will come out of it but an increase in Jew-hatred all over the world and more sanctions against Israel their own country — how does one explain such sick self-hating behavior? How can they feel triumphant over making the nations hate us even more? It’s against human nature.”
The Rav was quiet for a minute and then he said “It isn’t sick abnormal behavior and it’s not against human nature either.”
“How is it not sick?”
“Very simple. We have a tradition that tells us that in the last generation before the geulah all the souls of the eirev rav which attached themselves to the Jewish People when we left Mitzrayim will break away. This sorting process is happening now in our times. Those who are capable of betraying their people and joining the gentile nations in invoking sanctions and all sorts of harm against us are exposing the fact that they are the neshamos of the eirev rav which are now breaking away and allying themselves with our enemies. It isn’t really treachery because their souls are not the souls of our people. Given who they really are it’s actually perfectly natural for them to act this way.”
After that there was nothing more to say. —
How can a person be responsible for his actions when he isn’t in charge of himself?
(Rav Moshe of Boyan)