“I’m telling you, I know I’m Bilaam,” he told me

“But he’s just like his father, who’s a talmid chacham”

“Get me a real doctor from Harvard who speaks Persian!”

“I’d really like to schedule an appointment but I don’t want to take any medications and I’m afraid you’ll tell me that I have to take them.”

“Baruch Hashem I’m cured, and this will be my secret”

“You think I should stage my own funeral?” Jack asked me

“My whole family suffers depression, but that’s not me”

“We’re going to aggressively help you take care of you”

“Reb Yitzi, tell him exactly what you told me!”

“That’s illegal, Dr. Fine. I can’t have a part in this”