The Areinfirnish!

On Lag B’omer, thousands of parents will travel to Meron to give their three-year-old boys the first haircut of their lives. At this momentous time, it is the minhag of many in Klal Yisrael to officially introduce the upsheren boy to the world of Torah learning and mitzvos. Some call this event the “areinfirnish.” Another name is “hachnasas l’cheder”. But no matter what you call it, this occasion leaves the curly-haired toddler with a lifetime impression of the incredible sweetness of the Torah Hakedoshah. Meet four fantastic rebbeim who host upsheren boys on this special day for a peek behind the scenes!

Areinfirnish: What’s The Purpose?

Rav Brecher, Talmudical Academy, Baltimore, MD: Rav Hauer, rav of Shaarei Zion in Baltimore, summed it beautifully like this: One of the most important purposes of the areinfirnish is to give the child a good feeling about cheder. Therefore, even if children never got the opportunity to go when they were three, it is still beneficial to take them when they are older so that they can have a positive association with learning.

Rav Feldman, The Torah School, Baltimore, MD: We have the areinfirnish specifically at three years old because it is then that the child’s mind is beginning to open up and we want to begin his lifelong goal of learning Torah with a strong taste of the Torah’s sweetness.

What Happens?

Rav Wilansky: The upsheren boy is taken to cheder wrapped in a tallis so that he does not see anything improper. When he comes into the classroom he usually sits on the rebbi’s lap with his father standing behind him and throughout the entire event, either his father or his Zaide shower him with candies. The child is told that the malach Michoel is throwing candies on him! A special cake made with milk and honey is brought and it is also customary to have an egg. There are certain pesukim written onto the cake and the egg (some people even use special food coloring markers to etch the words on the egg) and the child is supposed to eat up all of the words. Sometimes the cake is so big that he can’t do it in one shot, so he takes it home and eats it over a period of time. Also, the class is more than happy to help him polish off the rest of the cake! The most important thing is for the child to realize that Torah is sweet like honey. It is an extremely auspicious time for the entire family, not the just the upsheren boy. Some parents have the minhag to take their child to the mikvah that morning and many give tzedakah on that day.

Rav Markowitz: The upsheren boy is given a toy and a candy right when he enters the classroom, to help make him feel comfortable. When the tallis comes off and everyone can see him, I say, “Look, kinderlach! This teyere boy is coming here on his upsheren day! He wants to be here more than anywhere else. He is going to lick honey and enjoy sweet candies. Why?” And the class shouts, “Because Torah is the sweetest thing!” The boy reads the Alef-beis. When he reaches the letter suf, he goes back to alef to show that he should come to know the entire Torah forward and backward. Honey is dripped onto the letters alef, mem, and suf, spelling out emes. The class and I tell the boy that Torah is the emes. We tell him that the Torah was given to Moshe at Har Sinai and from Moshe to a different rebbi (Yehoshua) and from that rebbi to another rebbi... until it was given to this rebbi right here sitting with you!

On this day we treat the child like a chassan, He is held on the shoulders of his father and the entire class dances in front of him. The parents receive a special booklet that contains special inyanim concerning the rest of the day (for example, importance of guarding the child’s eyes) and tefillos said on this momentous occasion.

Don’t Be Nervous!

Rav Brecher: Since the upsheren boy might feel shy or nervous, I have a special punchy balloon that I blow up for the upsheren boy. I purposely forget to tie the balloon and when I hand it to the upsheren boy it zooms all around the classroom to the delight of the kids! I tell the upsheren boy when I blow it up that there’s a mouse living in the balloon. I squeeze the sides of the balloon and it makes a funny squeaky noise that does indeed sound like a mouse!

Memorable Mishaps:

Rav Feldman: Once, one of the parents forgot to bring in honey for the Alef-beis chart and we had to improvise with the only sweet thing we could find, a Fruit by the Foot! Since then, I always keep a spare Fruit by the Foot in my desk.

Special Minhagim:

Rav Markowitz: In Skver, the boys get their peyos (and their first haircut) at two years old, but the areinfirnish is held when they turn three. They also have the minhag to throw money onto the table at the ceremony.

Upsheren: Only Age Three?

Rav Wilansky: In the Chabad chassidus, some have the minhag to hold the upsheren at the age of five, not three. This is because many years ago in Russia the Jewish children would not be taken to cheder until they were five years old.

When the Rashab, the fifth rebbe of Chabad, had his areinfirnish, his father, the Tzemach Tzedek, told him that the malach Michoel was the one throwing candies on him. (The father throwing the candy is a shaliach/messenger of malach Michoel). The three-year-old upsheren boy took this extremely seriously and saved every last candy and would not eat them. When Pesach time came around and his parents discovered the candies in his pocket, the Tzemach Tzedek called the child into his room and had him eat the candies. The upsheren boy was so sincere that he had not wanted his holy candies from the malach Michoel to be sold to a goy over Pesach!  (Sefer Hasichos, 5701)

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Jr., Issue 761)