I can see the shul from my dining room window. The idea that it was so close, yet so far, was too much to bear

For many years, my job as chaplain in a local retirement facility required me to spend Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur there. That meant that precisely at the time of year that tefillah is so intrinsic to the avodah, my family and I were without a minyan. Every year I felt that I was being sent into exile during a time when Hashem is so close.

When it became possible for me to stay home for the Yamim Noraim and daven in shul again, it was spiritual ecstasy. Since then, I never felt that Yamim Noraim davening was too long — I treasured every moment. I was sure I would never leave the shul again.

But on Tuesday, March 17, 2020, I got the following email from Rabbi Avrohom Weinrib, the rav of our shul: “I feel like my world has turned upside down. I heard today from my rebbeim that we need to close our shul. In my wildest dreams or nightmares, I could not have imagined such a scenario…”

I can see the shul from my dining room window. The idea that it was so close, yet so far, was too much to bear. To be deprived of our shul — at a time like this! The old feeling of exile came rushing back.