This is both good news and bad news. It’s good because it means all we need is a tiny bit of energy in the right direction and we ought to be able to accomplish great things. Bad because we’ve all experienced how a tiny bit of energy in the wrong direction can wreak havoc.

For example a person might interview all the parts of her personality concerning a particular chocolate truffle sitting before her. “Shall we eat it?” she inquires. Several members of her inner family quickly respond:

“No — the sugar will give us a headache.”

“No — we’re on the healthy-eating plan and that chocolate is off limits!”

“We need to fit into that dress for the wedding — absolutely not!”

“The sugar will unleash the addictive process and we’ll be trapped in that endless cycle.”

All parts seem to be firmly on board — except one teeny tiny part who doesn’t even bother to weigh in. While all the other parts are busy at their meeting this one grabs the reins pulls the levers and — presto — grabs that truffle and pops it into her mouth before anyone can stop her. The vote may have been 10 to 1 but that doesn’t matter. The power of small.

The Best Intentions

The same dynamic plays out in our interpersonal communication. We have all the best intentions — so many parts of us are on board especially after the class we just took the inspiring article we just read the nightly accounting of our soul that we routinely perform.

Today it will be different! No more nasty replies. No more raised voice. No more sarcasm. Today finally I will be nice no matter what.

All of me votes “yes” to the new plan except that one tiny part the part that gets so hurt so overwrought so triggered — that one little itsy-bitsy bit of me that feels completely electrocuted by an equally tiny insult or offense. And this little tiny piece of personality suddenly roars forth with the intensity of a lion ready to bite off any threatening child’s head or rip out an imperfect spouse’s heart as if it feels the full responsibility of my survival on this planet. The power of small.

Taking a Tiny Step Forward

But then there is also the powerfully positive power of small the Chanukah-oil small the Maccabee small the light-in-the-darkness small. This is the small part of us that can — and will — take a tiny step forward when we ask the other parts of us to take a big step backward.

“I wanted to stop yelling I really did. But I had no control. Something would go wrong — someone wouldn’t listen or would do or say something I didn’t like — and I’d immediately say the wrong thing. This year I changed my self-improvement strategy. Instead of telling myself that I had to do it right I gave myself a smaller assignment; I simply told myself to stop talking as soon as I noticed what I was doing.

“At first I’d start my usual rant and go for quite a while before I noticed my own awful behavior. But as soon as I noticed I’d stop talking completely. Sometimes I’d also be able to leave the room saying something like ‘I don’t want to talk about this now. I’ll talk later when I’m calmer’.

“Over time I was able to notice my inappropriate behavior sooner and sooner and then after a while I was able to notice that I was about to start and — believe it or not — abort the whole thing. That one small step enabled me to finally accomplish my gigantic goal.”

A Small Opening

The key to success in behavioral change often involves smallness. Making the tiniest change starts a cascade of events that eventually leads us to our true goals. What darkens your home your relationships or your mind? Where is there a small opening for you to act a place to let a tiny crack of light in? What thought or action — no matter how small — can you initiate?

Never underestimate the power of small. On the contrary take advantage of it for that small change can be a deceptively powerful catalyst for the big change you’re longing for.