Small Actions for Great Connection
| April 23, 2014 “Every man shall fear his mother and his father…” (Vayikra 19:3)
What is fear? He shall not sit in their place and shall not interrupt them and shall not contradict their words. And what is honor? Providing food and drink helping them dress and put on their shoes assisting them in entering and exiting. (Rashi on Kiddushin 31)
Why didn’t Chazal explain the pasuk literally nor translate fear literally — to fear them fear their greatness? Is it because their honor is compared to the honor of Hashem the essence of the mitzvah? (Rav Shimshon Pincus Tiferes Shimshon)
The saleslady recommended carrying the helium balloon. I mercilessly stuffed it into the white shopping bag. I was not walking through town with that inflated shiny thing hovering above my head.
My six-year-old daughter greeted me at the entrance to our building. “Ima what’s in that bag?” I showed her and her eyes lit up. “Wow Ima it’s beautiful! Is it for Ruti’s birthday? Can I take it out for a second? Please. Ruti’s not home yet.”
I acquiesced but cautioned her to grasp the string tightly. But… the thin white string slipped and the large balloon immediately soared upward. Its silver-gold color glimmered leaving behind a sudden cry and a stunned silence.
I felt something twist inside me. I’d invested money thought time and effort and it disappeared heavenward because someone (who was fearfully silent at my side) wasn’t responsible enough. My six-year-old was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know how it flew out of my hand ” she repeated over and over.
We learn a great principle here: A mitzvah isn’t an abstract concept detached from an action. Every mitzvah must be combined with an action. Even when it comes to mitzvos inherently connected to the heart — such as emunah in Hashem and love and fear of Him — we’re commanded to join them to an action and therefore mitzvos are called either mitzvos aseh action mitzvos or mitzvos lo saaseh mitzvos to refrain from actions. All are in the realm of action.
In this light we can understand the Gemara’s questions: “What is fear? What is honor?” The Gemara’s intent is to ask: What is the action of these mitzvos? Which action physically expresses the mitzvos of fear and honor? The answer to this is “He shall not sit in their place ” although the action of its own accord is seemingly insignificant. Yet the great mitzvah of honoring and fearing parents will be specifically fulfilled through this.” (ibid.)
Sometimes I look at these great big mitzvos from below. Emunah and bitachon refining our middos love of Hashem achdus and mesirus nefesh. These concepts are so lofty and I am so small. Where is the ladder standing on my ground with its head reaching the lofty heavens? How will I bring kedushah or yiras Shamayim into my house? How will I reach the heights of Torah mesirus nefesh or good middos?
“Every man shall fear his mother and his father.”
Fear. Honor. Abstract and lofty words. Powerful words.
Yet the Torah comes down to the small people on earth. Precisely for us the Gemara specifies: “He shall not sit in their place and shall not interrupt them and shall not contradict their words. And what is honor? Providing food and drink helping them dress and put on their shoes assisting them in entering and exiting.” With simple everyday actions we climb to the lofty words to the great demands.
Each high and lofty mitzvah with incomprehensible spiritual depth has a small everyday string we must grasp.
To acquire mesirus nefesh we have to occasionally forgo things we desire in favor of loftier goals. To merit yiras Shamayim we need tefillah tears and small words said to Hashem throughout the day. To merit doing chesed we can happily welcome a neighbor’s daughter despite not having expected an additional mouth at supper.
And to merit emunah we can grasp the six-year-old’s hand at the exact moment we bite our lip in frustration and tell her sincerely “The balloon flew away because Hashem wanted it to. Everything is for the best. Really. You don’t have to be too upset over it.”
Then we’ll feel how in reality we’re still holding the string. The string tying us to the One Above…
Why didn’t Chazal explain the pasuk literally nor translate fear literally — to fear them fear their greatness? Is it because their honor is compared to the honor of Hashem the essence of the mitzvah? (Rav Shimshon Pincus Tiferes Shimshon)
The saleslady recommended carrying the helium balloon. I mercilessly stuffed it into the white shopping bag. I was not walking through town with that inflated shiny thing hovering above my head.
My six-year-old daughter greeted me at the entrance to our building. “Ima what’s in that bag?” I showed her and her eyes lit up. “Wow Ima it’s beautiful! Is it for Ruti’s birthday? Can I take it out for a second? Please. Ruti’s not home yet.”
I acquiesced but cautioned her to grasp the string tightly. But… the thin white string slipped and the large balloon immediately soared upward. Its silver-gold color glimmered leaving behind a sudden cry and a stunned silence.
I felt something twist inside me. I’d invested money thought time and effort and it disappeared heavenward because someone (who was fearfully silent at my side) wasn’t responsible enough. My six-year-old was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know how it flew out of my hand ” she repeated over and over.
We learn a great principle here: A mitzvah isn’t an abstract concept detached from an action. Every mitzvah must be combined with an action. Even when it comes to mitzvos inherently connected to the heart — such as emunah in Hashem and love and fear of Him — we’re commanded to join them to an action and therefore mitzvos are called either mitzvos aseh action mitzvos or mitzvos lo saaseh mitzvos to refrain from actions. All are in the realm of action.
In this light we can understand the Gemara’s questions: “What is fear? What is honor?” The Gemara’s intent is to ask: What is the action of these mitzvos? Which action physically expresses the mitzvos of fear and honor? The answer to this is “He shall not sit in their place ” although the action of its own accord is seemingly insignificant. Yet the great mitzvah of honoring and fearing parents will be specifically fulfilled through this.” (ibid.)
Sometimes I look at these great big mitzvos from below. Emunah and bitachon refining our middos love of Hashem achdus and mesirus nefesh. These concepts are so lofty and I am so small. Where is the ladder standing on my ground with its head reaching the lofty heavens? How will I bring kedushah or yiras Shamayim into my house? How will I reach the heights of Torah mesirus nefesh or good middos?
“Every man shall fear his mother and his father.”
Fear. Honor. Abstract and lofty words. Powerful words.
Yet the Torah comes down to the small people on earth. Precisely for us the Gemara specifies: “He shall not sit in their place and shall not interrupt them and shall not contradict their words. And what is honor? Providing food and drink helping them dress and put on their shoes assisting them in entering and exiting.” With simple everyday actions we climb to the lofty words to the great demands.
Each high and lofty mitzvah with incomprehensible spiritual depth has a small everyday string we must grasp.
To acquire mesirus nefesh we have to occasionally forgo things we desire in favor of loftier goals. To merit yiras Shamayim we need tefillah tears and small words said to Hashem throughout the day. To merit doing chesed we can happily welcome a neighbor’s daughter despite not having expected an additional mouth at supper.
And to merit emunah we can grasp the six-year-old’s hand at the exact moment we bite our lip in frustration and tell her sincerely “The balloon flew away because Hashem wanted it to. Everything is for the best. Really. You don’t have to be too upset over it.”
Then we’ll feel how in reality we’re still holding the string. The string tying us to the One Above…
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