I would venture to say that this battle is one that we wage daily in 2021

Rivka’s Take

Hi, my name is Rivka. I’m 14 years old. I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a while but I haven’t been able to bring it up to a family member or friend without fearing the conversation will get painfully awkward.

This may seem immature, or maybe even shallow, but I have a friend who’s really skinny. And pretty. And there’s no other way to put it but I’m seriously self-conscious around her, and it’s getting worse as we get older.

Let me give you a bit of background. My friend’s name is Sori, and we’ve been close for years — our parents are friends as well. We’re more like family than friends.

As we got older, it became increasingly apparent that Sori was beautiful — she gets her looks from her mother. As we entered into teenage years, Sori became more and more weight-conscious and always watched what she ate and exercised, while the rest of us normal kids would wolf down three slices of cake without a twinge of guilt. The result is that Sori has a look that’s enviable while I still have a rather pudgy waistline and the ability to eat a family sized bag of chips without a wince.

The problem is, I’ve started wincing.

We’re going into high school next year, and girls my age are starting to care a lot more about their looks. Particularly Sori. And while normally my appearance has hardly earned so much as a glance in the mirror, lately it has. And this sense of self-consciousness only increases when there’s a Shabbos table of goodies spread out before us, and Sori’s nibbling on a handful of grapes while I’m on my second chocolate chip cookie.

Chanukah’s coming up, and I’m already fearing the incredulous look I’m going to get if Sori sees me eating a doughnut or fried latke (“Fried? Ugh, Rivk, that’s so bad for your figure!”). I can’t seem to exercise the self-control I need to look good. I like food too much. And to be honest, I like the way I look. Until I’m with Sori, and all that confidence gets washed away. Can you offer me some advice on how to balance all this without having to endure some sort of torturous, healthy lifestyle?