“Matt ” I smiled “Let’s pretend I was the magic fairy. If I had that stardust to sprinkle over your head to make tomorrow better what would you most want to change about your life?” I was hoping to get an idea of the goals he’d like to set to make things better.

He squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated. Then he said “I’m not sure you could help me change my life but I’d really like it if you could help me change the way I see my life.”
Chanukah is a time to find the chein — the endearing qualities — in the life that we are living and in the people in it. It would be so nice to know how to do that. It would seem that the most obvious way to feel better about our lives would be to make the changes needed to get things to the place we would rather they be. If we could change parts of our lives that aren’t going our way we no doubt would feel better about things. In reality though that’s not always practical or possible.

I may want to change the way a friend treats or views me … but she isn’t open to change. I may want a teacher to view me more favorably … but she is inflexible about considering my side. I may feel like I belong with a certain group of friends … but they feel differently. I may want my parents to get along better or be able to meet my needs in a way that would feel better … but that may be left as a frustration for reasons that are beyond me. Whether it is because there are other people involved (who we can’t change) or situations that we are forced to live with … it is often impossible to make things be or become the way we would prefer.

So how can I really experience the chein — the precious satisfying life — that I so crave? Will the Chanukah miracle be left as an impossibility in my own life?

Definitely not.