“And no man saw his brother [during the Plague of Darkness]” (Shemos 10:23)   

It is that season of the year when Israel presents its annual religious entertainment be it Who is A Jew The Conversion Process or the perennial box-office favorite Chareidim in the Military.

This spring the military issue takes center stage. Sound bites and bromides fill the air and as usual neither side hears the other for the “other” is the enemy who a) wishes to destroy the Torah; or b) are parasites dodging the duties of citizenship.

They do not hear one another because although they use Hebrew they are speaking different languages. One is talking about physical things and the other metaphysics. And both sides are passionate. Who can disagree that the burden of the country should be equally shared? (Including the over 30 percent of secular youth who manage to avoid the draft completely.) On the other hand can anyone disagree that spiritual matters keep the nation afloat and that we do not live by bread alone? (And should not the spiritual burden also be shared equally?)

Stereotyping and myopia are Siamese twins distorting vision. Perhaps it is time for chareidim to reevaluate their approach. (I suggest the same to secularists but they don’t read Mishpacha.…) Demographically economically morally — by any realistic measuring rod — Israeli chareidim are in the ascendancy and the secular majority is in retreat. Even Yair Lapid a leading secularist admits that. But says Lapid now that chareidim are winning the battle for Israel’s soul it is time for them to “share the burden” of citizenship and join the military. The non sequitur leaps out — for one reason for chareidi ascendancy is precisely that they stubbornly refused to become part of the majority culture and chose to share the burdens of citizenship in ways that would not compromise their spiritual integrity.

In any case if in fact chareidim are prevailing it is time to drop the siege mentality and to begin viewing the other not as a stranger but as a Jew a brother a person with a neshamah.

In fact recent surveys show that almost 60 percent of Israelis believe in Torah min Shamayim. Which means that despite sensationalist politicians and media they have a natural appreciation of spiritual matters. Most nonobservant Israelis still believe in G-d respect Torah observe things like bris milah Pesach and Yom Kippur and would be ready to do more if Torah were lovingly presented to them. Unfortunately Torah Judaism to them entails a black hat and suit a full beard and being intolerant of anyone who is not so garbed. One overriding conviction drives them: that religious Jews look down and have contempt for them.

And truth to tell some chareidi behavior vis-à-vis secularists often reinforces this prejudice. Chareidim have not learned how to interact with nonobservant Jews; it is much easier to dismiss them as apikorsim or heretics than to view them as fellow Jews who have never been exposed to genuine Torah values.

It is time to lower the volume talk quietly with one another and discover that not all nonobservant Israelis are Satans just as not all chareidim are insensitive parasites. In such a conversation it would surface that even at the height of World War II USA and other democracies did not draft divinity students because they understood — perhaps better than we do — that the spiritual well-being of a country is as important as its physical safety; that chareidim sacrifice comfort and livelihood in order to maintain Jewish spirituality; that they spearhead rescue operations after terrorist attacks and lead the country in voluntarism; that crime is rare in chareidi areas; that students do not bring deadly weapons into chareidi schools and respect for elders and for authority is the norm.

If chareidim are winning the battle it is time a) to translate into real life and not just in theory the principle that the holy neshamah that resides within each Jew can be animated if approached with sensitivity; and b) to behave in the mentschlich fashion that brings admiration and not obloquy to the cause of Torah. It is time to shift gears.

The results could be surprising. Mishlei 27:19 says it all: “Kamayim hapanim lapanim ken lev ha‘adam la‘adam” — which means says Rashi that just as water mirrors a face so one’s caring heart engenders a mirrored response from another. Or as the Chazon Ish puts it in his commentary on Yoreh Dei’ah 2:16 we should draw our nonobservant brothers closer “with ropes of love — avosos shel ahavah.…”

Which practically and metaphysically is a consummation devoutly to be wished for the conclusion of that verse from Shemos would finally surface: “all the Israelites had light in their dwellings.”