Rav Meir Nachman Elchadad brings support and solace to another bereaved father

Photos: Elchanan Kotler

The pain in the room is so tangible you can almost touch it, burning in the flames rising out of the wicks floating in bowls of olive oil.

How do people cope after losing what’s most precious to them on earth?

Reuven Ben Eli, whose wife and three children were killed in a horrifying road accident last September, searches for the right words. “I can’t explain it,” he says finally. “It’s not possible to explain. This is strength that comes when the pain overwhelms you, and I can’t tell you how it happens.”

Rav Meir Nachman Elchadad, a Breslov mashpia who has been a pillar of strength to so many others after losing two sons in Meron last Lag B’omer, looks into Reuven’s eyes, communicating in a language understood only by fellow sojourners on this path of deep pain. “HaKadosh Baruch Hu gives special kochos,” he says. “On the pasuk from Eishes Chayil, ‘Noda bashearim baalah,’ the holy Zohar explains that this is a revelation of the emunah that HaKadosh Baruch Hu plants in each person’s heart. It’s a very personal, precise thing, and very deep inside the person.”

Rav Elchadad goes over to the bowl of olive oil and burning wicks, and tends to the lights. This is one of the things he taught Reuven Ben Eli — to prepare such candles for the neshamos. “Olive oil for a departed soul is like cold water in a desert,” he tells his friend.