Over several conversations I got to hear about the father whose story is so much a part of Moshe’s own. Reb Chaim Lax a noted philanthropist and diamond dealer wasn’t just respected for his generosity but for his genuine ayin tovah — the willingness not just to help others but the desire to see them succeed.

Moshe grew up the son of a legend an opportunity not without its challenges.

“My father understood it too. He appreciated that it wasn’t easy; we would speak about it. He would tell me that he hoped I wouldn’t just be content to be ‘Chaim Lax’s son.’ I once read a ma’amar written by the Rebbe of Levertov — he’s a Peshis’cha descendant — which affected me deeply. He describes a neshamah that comes down to This World that is placed in the perfect home with loving attentive parents. The child is bright and obedient and follows the proper path becoming a scholar and devout Jew. He marries well and succeeds in every undertaking living a full productive life.”

Lax pauses for the punch line. “And then this neshamah goes up after 120 years and as the Rebbe writes the malach pinches him on the cheek and says ‘Good boy you listened to your mother.’ ”

He laughs. “It’s a shame if the most someone can be is a good boy you know? Placed in the right position at four years old and never veering from it. When are we supposed to become people?”

So Chaim Lax’s only son forged a path uniquely his own.

Primarily in learning. He attended the standard chassidishe schools then learned under Rav Shaul Brus in Beis HaTalmud a yeshivah known for intense rigorous learning and deeply analytical shiurim. After his marriage he settled in Boro Park and learned in kollel but once he joined his father at Dynamic Diamonds he found himself looking for something different.

“I was working very hard, in Manhattan, and felt a need for tranquility, for space. Riverdale was nearby, and I loved it, it’s so serene and charming.”

Moshe Lax has initiated many projects, but the one of which he’s most proud is his sefer, Derech Nesher, on the Rambam. The way of an eagle, soaring through the heavens on a route all its own.

A path that led him to the small shul in Riverdale.

Always drawn to the words of the Rambam, Lax found the perfect guide. Rav Meir Twersky is a grandson of Rav Yoshe Ber Soloveitchik and a son of the Tolna Rebbe of Boston; he understands the challenge of being innovative within the parameters of maintaining a legacy.

“Tolna is a small shul, and Rav Twersky has stamped it with his imprint. It’s really a place of learning. That’s what draws people to him, to each other.”

T

he family business is diamonds.

“My father started as a diamond cutter, known to have golden hands, a special touch. One day, he started selling diamonds as well. He went out on his own, and he experienced tremendous brachah. His success had an impact on him, and he realized that there was a point to it. It wasn’t just because he was so smart. He contemplated what had happened and reacted by starting to give, to help, to do whatever he could to let other people be successful. He became a person who lived to do good for others, but the only thing that didn’t change was his lifestyle. He remained modest and lived modestly.”

Moshe worked hand in hand with his father. “But I realized that in order to feel like I was maximizing my own potential, I had to expand myself beyond the opportunities he gave me.”

Though he’s still the CEO of Diamond Dynamics LLC, one of the largest diamond businesses in the United States, different real estate projects drew him in, and in broadening his own horizons, he learned new things about himself.

“Look, this is a common issue in the frum community. To be happy, you need to be productive. But we have a culture where people join the workforce after marriage, a few years in kollel, and the option of joining a family business is just too convenient. In many cases, there is really no choice. So you have talented young men with latent entrepreneurial skills that are being squashed every day as they show up to work for a shver or grandfather. It’s a bit sad to see.

“It’s not only true in business,” he adds. “I have friends from chinuch or rabbanus families who have the same issue. They are accomplishing, but they sometimes feel like clones.”

Moshe Lax’s insight into this topic is what eventually led him into partnership with one of New York’s leading business families.

“It was something we talked about often, my friends and I. I remember, at one point we had a group of guys who would get together. We all worked for successful family businesses but also wanted to keep our independence alive.”

The group boasted many well-known frum baalei tzedakah — and also a young scion of a prominent New Jersey real estate family named Jared Kushner.

But it was Jared’s future wife who would become a partner with Moshe Lax. In her book, The Trump Card, Ivanka Trump writes about meeting Lax to discuss a real estate deal.

Different worlds, but both had influential fathers. Lax challenged her to be more than just Donald Trump’s daughter, sharing his theory. “A child who isn’t loyal has no problems; they simply head off and do their own thing. A child who doesn’t have a streak of independence is comfortable benefitting from the privilege and connections, and they also have no problems. It’s only the child who’s loyal, but also innovative, who faces this challenge.”

Lax offered not just the diagnosis, but the eitzah as well, suggesting that Ivanka could find a path uniquely her own even as she remained in the Trump Organization.

In her biography, Trump credits that conversation with inspiring the birth of Ivanka Trump Fine Jewelry. .

Mr. Lax recognized that I was both enthusiastic and positioned to bring a singular skill set to his operation, so we started talking about how we might work together on a retail venture. It’s not as if either one of us was pursuing the other to do a deal. The talks simply evolved organically over the course of other business discussions, and the more we looked at opportunities, the more we found a lot to like about the idea of partnering. (The Trump Card, p. 222)

A

partnership was formed, but the connection with the Trumps would deepen over the years. While the current president of the United States wasn’t involved with the business, the partners would often consult with him.

“He was always gracious and helpful, and, to be honest, very likeable. Nothing about this whole election surprised me. I always thought he had a good shot at winning and that he’d do a good job. His instincts are superb and his salesmanship skills are unparalleled.”

Over the years, Trump would tease Lax about taking the best asset away from the Trump Organization.

“It was only half a joke. She’s a very sharp businesswoman, but at the same time, he understood exactly why she needed the space.”

In time, Lax would do more than offer Ivanka Trump a partnership. He was putting together a real estate deal and he invited Jared Kushner to take part. He called a meeting at Prime Grill, where Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner met for the first time. “I wasn’t playing shadchan — it was a business opportunity.”

Did he get shadchanus? I ask. He doesn’t bite, laughing instead. “That’s a state secret.”

Lax’s vantage point allowed him to see a different side to the president. “I noticed a certain decency. I remember how we were at an event and Trump noticed his ex-wife, Ivanka’s mother, come into the room. ‘Go say hello to your mother,’ he told her right away. It’s important to him that his children behave with graciousness and courtesy.”

And Lax even got a glimpse of the sense of humor. “We were working on a deal and most of the partners were Jewish: Trump looked at me and shrugged, ‘I must be the only goy in New York real estate.’ ”

He shares these stories easily, but Lax is careful not to become a political commentator. He has consistently refused media requests to weigh in on Jared and Ivanka’s roles in the administration, their religious commitment, or anything else. “Their personal choices are no one’s business.”

Currently, he’s in contact with the Trump circle, but he’s steered clear of discussing politics or offering advice. “We keep it professional. They don’t need my dei’os,” he says.

L

ax is animated as he walks me through the future home of CODE (Community of Designers), one of the boldest new ideas in New York real estate, at Fifth Avenue and 61st  Street.

“I felt like it was time. This strip of Fifth Avenue is the center of the fashion and cultural world, and many brands can’t invest in a large flagship store. We had this idea that we could create a place where they could have smaller stores, giving them the Fifth Avenue exposure and presence, allowing the clients to meet them here, without the brands having to invest in exorbitant space.”

Perhaps it’s symbolic that even the makeshift headquarters features a single piece of art: A large painting of Moshe Lax and his father.

“The office staff here commissioned it as a gift for my birthday. They know how much it means to me.”

It’s an announcement of sorts: Even though Lax is proud of his free spirit, his father’s influence is everywhere.

“It isn’t so much in business as in life itself. He taught me how to live.”

Moshe remembers a lesson his father never tired of repeating. Chaim Lax was a devoted chassid of the Tosher Rebbe, and the Rebbe would often allow the businessman to share in various tzedakah opportunities.

In the middle of one night, the phone rang in the Lax home. It was the Rebbe.

“Chaim, go wash negel vasser,” the Rebbe instructed his chassid before soliciting his help for a particular cause.

“But Rebbe, I already gave generously for this very cause,” Chaim pointed out.

“Ah, Reb Chaim, it’s hard for you? You don’t want to give?” the Rebbe asked gently. “In that case... in that case, you should certainly give!”

It would become a mantra. “My father endured different things in his life. My mother passed away before him, just after my wedding, but my father was strong. He didn’t expect things to go easy for him.”

Moshe doesn’t elaborate, but in between meetings, we have an interesting exchange. A resourceful fund-raiser who knows of my acquaintance with Moshe Lax asks me to arrange a meeting between Lax and a respected rosh yeshivah. Lax is the sort of person that I don’t mind asking, so I agree. He hears the name of the rosh yeshivah and says, “Sure, he can come. I’d actually like to meet him.”

Then, after a moment, he explains why. “You can see that the rosh yeshivah is not only a great man and big talmid chacham, but also that he’s someone who’s suffered in his life, who’s really experienced life. I’d love to speak with him.”

I

n paradox to his energetic presence in the hallway, he is relaxed and thoughtful in conversation, as if we’re sitting in a caf? pondering the mysteries of life. He returns to his favorite subject. “Before the war, back in Europe, the frum community suffered because of the various ‘isms’, the movements like Zionism and Bundism and Socialism captured the imaginations of teenagers, of young people. They were taken in by the glory of belonging to something bigger, being part of a collective. Today, we have the opposite issue. Collectively, we are very strong, the bochurim have a communal identity, they know they are part of something wonderful. What they lack is individualism, that feeling of being distinct from those around them. It’s hard if every 17-year-old bochur is expected to look the same and dress the same and learn the same things, more or less. And then they get married and join Tatty’s business, where whatever individuality they have is stifled again.”

Does he have a solution?

He laughs that easy laugh. “Not really. Only that sh’eilas chacham chatzi teshuvah. Sometimes conceding that there’s an issue is part of the solution. We have to find ways to work within our system.

“A system,” he clarifies, “which works so nicely, in most cases.”

I joke that he should have gone fully independent and become a psychologist.

Lax, who reads widely in and blogs about the field of neuropsychology, actually did realize that dream, in a way. He was among the founders and early supporters of Eitzah, a phone referral service and support system that connects mechanchim with struggling teenagers and their parents. He’s been published on the subject in various journals and forums.

“Today, it’s everywhere,” he says, spreading his arms wide. “The conventions and magazines and seminars all address OCD and ADHD and everything else. Every good parent is up-to-date on the different conditions and ways of dealing with them. But ten years ago, no one talked about it.”

He mock whispers. “He has ADHD. Oy vey. She has postpartum depression, nebach. We’ve come so far. Our community is not just open about different emotional and mental struggles, we’re actually in the forefront of addressing them, baruch Hashem.”

His wife, Shaindy, has invested her energy and heart into the establishment of SPARKS, another first-of-its-kind organization, which supports and assists new mothers dealing with postpartum depression.

“It’s all part of it. HaKadosh Baruch Hu created each of us with challenges, and the happiness of life comes from facing and addressing them.”

And then it’s suddenly quiet in the glass-enclosed room. As if to make it clear that he’s really not a heavy guy, he takes out his phone and plays me a new song he wrote. We talk music for several minutes before stepping outside.

The sun has set over Manhattan, the chill lifting off the river and crossing Central Park to greet us. We stand on the street corner, Trump Tower with its flagship jewelry store rising high above us in the west, Lax’s new project to the east, and in between them, a gulf of dreams and hopes and prayers of a young man finding his way.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha Issue 655)