“And Moshe ascended to G-d.”

(Shemos 19:3)

“ ‘You ascended to Heaven and took a captive.’ What does this mean? It means ‘You elevated yourself; you dealt with the angels above.’ ” (Rav Elazar Menachem Shach ztz”l Rosh Amanah)

“Mommy there’s a mosquito!”

It’s freezing outside. A mosquito?

“It was right here” my son insists. “And I can’t fall asleep.”

I sigh as I search. I find nothing. “It probably flew off” I conclude depleted. “If it comes back call me.”

My six-year-old nods his head and follows me out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To get a drink” he replies. “And I forgot to brush my teeth.”

Oh.

The kid was tucked up in bed at seven thirty — I’m a responsible mother after all. Now it’s after nine. I’m tired I need space and by now I’m not at my best. So I resort to all the good mommy no-no’s. I offer a prize if he stays in bed. When that doesn’t work I threaten to tell his father (“Why am I the bad guy?” my husband always wants to know) and I punish. And no that doesn’t mean a thought-out calm consequence.

Crying angry and resentful my son finally falls asleep. Leaving me a mess.

Why is being a mother so filled with failure? With guilt? With aggravation? Why am I pushed beyond my limits again and again?

The Torah teaches us that one cannot acquire the crown of Torah without waging war against the yetzer hara. And the battle is not only for the crown of Torah but for all spiritual elevation. (ibid.)

But that’s the job description of a Yiddishe Mama — failing and struggling holding back harsh words and groping to find the answers. Ultimately a Yiddishe Mama recognizes that she can’t do it alone and she turns to Hashem pleading for strength and patience crying over her frustration and failure and faults.

The next day she feels rejuvenated. She is patient strong loving and ready to model good middos. Until … until she suddenly confronts the next challenge. “Uh-oh ” she says. “I thought I was past this already. How did it happen again?”

Chazal teach that a person’s yetzer hara overcomes him every day … Without Hashem’s assistance in the war against the yetzer hara it would be impossible to win. And Hashem’s help comes only after a person has done all he could.

Why do we require Hashem’s help to overcome the yetzer hara? After all the purpose of creation is for people to fight the yetzer hara. What reward is due when the victory is not one’s own?

It’s the same enemy that Hashem defeated for you yesterday. Today He gave it back. But why? Why can’t this enemy be permanently vanquished? Why can’t I turn the page now and begin a life of success?

It is Hashem’s Will that no person ever achieve a final absolute victory over the yetzer hara; rather our lives are a series of tests. Even when a person passes one test he must be prepared to face the next trial.

All of this is meant for our benefit. Whenever a person withstands a trial and rises to a higher level his yetzer hara attacks him anew and subjects him to even more difficult challenges. The greater the person the greater the yetzer hara.

Why? Because on the day that your nisyonos end you’ll have reached the end of the road. On the day there are no more heights to scale you’ll have stopped growing. On the day you stop aching from exertion and crying out of frustration and pain — you’ll have lost the wings on which you fly.

We only grow through pain. By confronting challenges — by dealing with the difficult six-year-old or 16-year-old or 26-year-old — we become better people than we were yesterday.

Therefore Hashem decreed that no human being ever succeed in vanquishing the yetzer hara without Divine assistance. Because if Hashem allowed a person to defeat the yetzer hara on his own and that defeat was complete then that person would make no more progress.

It’s not easy to keep climbing. It’s not easy to reach a peak only to discover a higher one just up ahead. But it’s the climb that makes our lives meaningful; that and the promise of the view from the top of the mountain.