“Let this stone I have set up as a pillar become a temple to G-d …”

(Bereishis 28:22)

Let’s examine Yaakov Avinu’s position at that time. Instead of sitting in the tents of Torah as would befit a person whose image is on the Merkavah he was fleeing from his father’s house because his brother wished to kill him. He was in a desert and surrounded himself with stones to protect himself from wild animals. And where was he heading? To the home of Lavan the Arami who wished to destroy everything. He needed the generosity of this wicked man since he was arriving without a stitch of clothing or any other possessions after Elifaz had taken everything he had. (Lekach Tov).

Sometimes Hashem sends me into the desert. I don’t choose to be there. I’d much rather remain in my well-tended city with the people I love … but Hashem sent me to the desert.

What “desert” is that? Each person has his own desert and in our desert we are absolutely completely alone.

Sometimes I’m in that desert for only a few minutes minutes of such despair that I’m suddenly unsure of myself or anything else. I feel so hopeless and filled with guilt that there’s no room for anything else. Sometimes I’m there for days. Once I was there for months — a very difficult time. I’ve heard of people who’ve been there for years.

Chazal teach us that the words b’chol me’odecha in Kri’as Shema mean that with every middah [measurement] that Hashem doles out to you you should be modeh [thankful] to Him me’od me’od [very much]. That is the answer to our own excuses for how little we serve Hashem; we claim that in our situation it’s hard for us to serve Hashem properly but when things become easier for us then we’ll perform all the mitzvos as we should.

That is a great mistake. The Torah tells us “You shall choose life.” Man was given the ability to choose good or to choose the opposite Heaven forbid. If our obligation to serve Hashem was based on our life situation then a person’s life circumstances would also have to be given to him to choose.

However we see that a person does not control his life circumstances and cannot alter them even slightly. This proves that a person’s free choice is not at all a function of his situation. This is what Chazal mean by the phrase “with every measure that He doles out to you” — there is an obligation to love Hashem and serve Him with all our heart and souls no matter the circumstances. (ibid.)

“Don’t expect anything from me!” I want to shout into the emptiness. “I don’t know how to get out of here and even if I knew I’m not sure I have the strength to try. I came here against my will and aside from crying there’s not much I can do.”

“You were sent into the desert?” comes the answer from Above. “Then just do what you can! It may not be much and it’s certainly not everything. It isn’t perfect it’s not magical and it’s not very impressive. All that is true. But all that’s expected of you is to do what you are capable of doing.”

Since Hashem created this situation for him it must be good. All that remains is for him to identify Hashem’s Will and to observe the Torah even under these circumstances.

“You see” Yaakov tells all of us “I wasn’t surrounded by sifrei kodesh or the walls of the beis medrash. But I had a stone. I took that one stone and I made it into a monument and that became atemple ofG-d.

“This is where it began. With this stone alone I served Hashem. I brought Hashem into this desolate empty frightening place. I used whatever I had even though it was only one stone. And Hashem came!”

Hashem You have placed me in a desert and it’s not easy there. I’m trying to serve You there even though all I have are stones. Please Hashem may this small stone of mine become atempleofG-d.