Pure Faith
“Send for yourself men.” (Bamidbar 13:2)
Rashi explains that when Bnei Yisrael requested spies Moshe consulted with Hashem. Hashem answered: “I told them the Land is good. By your life I’ll give them room to err with the words of the spies so that they don’t inherit it!”
Sifsei Chachamim explains that the spies did indeed err saying later in the perek (13:32): “It’s a land that eats its inhabitants ” for they saw the inhabitants burying many dead in one day.
Yet one can wonder: If Hashem gave them the opportunity to err why did they deserve such a severe punishment that they not inherit the Land?
There are different levels of trust in Hashem. To understand that Hashem created the world one doesn’t need great wisdom for even a fool understands that.
But there’s a higher level of emunah — to recognize that all our accomplishments are really Hashem’s doing. To beware of saying (Devarim 8:17): “My strength and the might of my hand have brought me this wealth.”
I’ve always assumed that I’m a “baalas emunah” as I was raised that way. I’ve worked on myself throughout my life to strengthen that original dose of emunah. But I’m learning that this is only the first step of real faith. Even a first-grader can tell you that Hashem created the world.
What’s the next step? What happens when people compliment me on my beautiful kids my great teaching talents and even on my superb challah recipe? How do I feel then?
My natural feeling is to pat myself on the back and say What a good mother/teacher/baker you are! I have to shake myself to realize that this is nonsense. My kids are terrific because Hashem created them that way. I’m lucky I merit siyata d’Shmaya in my teaching so that Hashem allows the right words to come out of my mouth. And even my challah rises and turns out golden and delicious because Hashem wants my family to have good challah!
We see this concept when the Torah tells us: “I am Hashem your G-d Who took you out of the land of Egypt.” Why not tell us “I am Hashem Who created Heaven and earth”? In essence it’s easy for the intellect to understand that Heaven and earth were created by Hashem. However the belief in Hashem’s strength in Yetzias Mitzrayim is more challenging as it can appear that Moshe Rabbeinu himself took Bnei Yisrael out of Mitzrayim.
There’s a third even higher level in emunah. That’s the faith that supports a person when he sees things he doesn’t understand. To reach this level of emunah he teaches himself not to delve and ask questions — rather to believe with emunah peshutah. When Moshe came to Bnei Yisrael in Mitzrayim and told them that Hashem will redeem them it says “And the Nation believed.” That wasn’t a high level of emunah; why wouldn’t they want to believe they’d be taken out of slavery and to the Promised Land?
However the situation with the spies required a higher level of faith. A level of acceptance: if Hashem said the Land was good then it’s so despite the seemingly contradictory facts. To enter the Holy Land Bnei Yisrael needed the merit of this highest level of emunah. (ibid.)
Believing even when logic is screaming the opposite. This is the ultimate emunah. A nation that survived a Holocaust; a nation that’s under constant threat from all directions; a nation that believes when faced with painful tragedies. This level of emunah requires us to clear a path between all the question marks floating around us. To gather up all the “whys” and “hows” with a trembling hand and meet that agonizing pain with pure acceptance.
We have to be able to lift our gaze Heavenward even when tears are blinding our eyes. The questions may want to be voiced but we can rise above them to find the emunah peshutah. That’s where you find Hashem.
I believe in You with emunah peshutah — without asking or understanding without seeing the good end. It will be good. And it’s already good now.