“May Hashem the G-d of the spirits of all flesh appoint a man over the congregation.” (Bamidbar 27:16)

“Why did [Moshe] make this request [for his own sons’ appointment] after the order of inheritances? Since the daughters of Tzelafchad inherited their father’s [property] Moshe said ‘… If daughters can inherit it’s only right that my sons inherit my station.’

“Hashem said to him ‘He who guards the fig tree shall eat its fruit. Your sons sat and did not involve themselves in Torah study.… Since he [Yehoshua] served you with all his strength he is worthy of serving the Jewish People and will not lose his reward. Thus ‘Take for yourself Yehoshua bin Nun’ ” (Midrash Rabbah 21).

Why did Moshe Rabbeinu think his sons should be appointed as the leaders when they weren’t worthy?

It may be his sons were equal to Yehoshua in their Torah knowledge and seemed worthy of inheriting their father’s lofty station. But if so why does it say they didn’t involve themselves in Torah study? (Nachalas Eliezer Rav Eliezer Kohn). 

“Mommy!” The cry is shrill and tinged with resentment. “You didn’t get my white shirt ready for the party even though I asked you. I’m not going to school without a white shirt!”

I’m speechless with shock. Then I feel as if someone has poured bucketfuls of rage over me and ignited it. Of course I prepared the white shirt for him! I washed and dried it. At midnight I ironed it. Then I hung it in his closet so it wouldn’t get wrinkled.

I’m tempted to simply leave it. But ultimately my motherliness overcomes my anger and I settle for an apology. Why? Why does this child always make me so angry? Why am I able to send all the other children off happily? Why only with him is it a struggle to suppress my anger?

So many times every day this boy brings me to some small narrow place deep inside me from which I need tremendous inner strength to extricate myself. It doesn’t matter if he’s asking for money for a new pencil if he wants me to read to him before he goes to sleep or if he’s been told to clean up his room. Whatever the context there are almost always angry words accusations and screams on both sides.

Sometimes a child is a personification of a complex aspect of ourselves — some character trait habit inclination or simply a difficulty about which we cry out within ourselves: This is very hard! It’s a problem I want to solve! It’s a difficulty I want to see crumble away!

Everyone else seems to succeed with surprising ease. We’re the only ones dragging that difficulty behind us. But still we keep trying to eradicate it.

 It’s different with regard to the reward for Torah and mitzvos that grows in accordance with the effort invested. A gifted person who spends a month learning a masechta is in no way superior to someone whose intellect isn’t so sharp who takes an entire year to learn that same masechta. The first person is rewarded for learning for a month and the second will be rewarded for a year! For the rule is that “According to the pain is the gain.” (Avos 5:26). 

Our great successes in life aren’t those things that come easily to us the things we’re naturally good at and have always been praised for.

The things that require effort for which we gave up the essence of our souls ground our teeth and wept from frustration or pain the ones about which we thought we’d never succeed … These things — when we didn’t despair and we simply kept taking tiny steps each with a tremendous effort  — will ultimately be our life’s greatest accomplishments.

“In light of this we can also understand the matter of Moshe Rabbeinu’s sons. They may have been on the same level as Yehoshua in terms of their Torah knowledge but since they didn’t use all their abilities and talents the Midrash says they “sat and didn’t involve themselves in Torah study.” 

Will it be this child for whom I try so hard who will bring me my greatest reward?