Mishpacha writers share their memories as guests from years past and pay tribute to a host’s lasting impact

Coordinated by Rachel Bachrach

A succah is a place for everyone. “Kol haezrach b’Yisrael,” the Torah tells us – on Sukkos, every citizen of Klal Yisrael should sit in a succah. “Kol Yisrael re’uyin leisheiv b’succah achas” – all of Yisrael are worthy of sitting in one succah, the gemara clarifies. This, we understand, is the very paradigm of the succah: a place where all are welcome.

In honor of this Yom Tov of sukkah achas, Mishpacha writers share their memories as guests from years past and pay tribute to a host’s lasting impact

Weekly Reminder

Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber

Every time I wash for Melaveh Malkah, I think of Rabbi Boruch Neuberger

 I was a 12th grade bochur in Ner Yisroel when Rabbi Boruch Neuberger, then the sgan menahel assisting his father Rav Sheftel ztz”l in running the yeshivah, came over and asked if we could speak.

“My son Bentzy will be in sixth grade next year, and I would like you to learn Mishnayos with him,” he said.

I excitedly agreed, because I knew bochurim enjoyed these relationships with the families that live on Yeshiva Lane on campus. They meant meals, food, and connections — pretty much all a bochur needs outside the beis medrash.

The learning went well the first few months, and that Chanukah, Rabbi Neuberger gifted me with the brand-new Shev Shmatsa version that had notes.

“I’m accepting this on the condition that it comes with a chavrusashaft,” I said, half-joking.

Rabbi Neuberger smiled and walked away, but a few weeks later, he asked me about it and we agreed to meet Thursday nights in his apartment after the 10:10 yeshivah Maariv. Week after week, we’d sit for about an hour over Mrs. Neuberger’s cake and make our way through sugyos in Shev Shmatsa, and after the limud itself, we’d talk about yeshivah, life — anything, really.

One time I mentioned that I took it easy that day, as my chavrusa wasn’t there. Rabbi Neuberger’s face grew stern.

“Whether your chavrusa is there or not has nothing to do with a productive day,” he said.

I was also privy to Rabbi Neuberger’s greatness, behind the scenes. I saw how much he cared, not only about his own yeshivah but others as well, constantly advising menahalim and directors of a myriad of mosdos that served all demographics. I witnessed the strong ties he maintained with talmidim who were no longer in yeshivah and still regularly turned to him for advice in chinuch, shalom bayis, even business.

Over the course of my three years in beis medrash, this was our weekly routine, and my relationship with the Neubergers developed to the point that I started eating many seudos with them — almost every Shabbos in my last year. We’re still very close, and we still try to make the trip to Yeshiva Lane to visit the Neubergers every time we go to my parents in Baltimore.

One Motzaei Shabbos in my first year of beis medrash, I found myself in the Neuberger home studying Rabbi Neuberger’s shtender (a few of us were purchasing a new shtender for our rebbi, and we wanted to model it after one that Rabbi Neuberger had, so I was elected to get more information). As I measured and took pictures, Rabbi Neuberger asked if I had eaten Melaveh Malkah.

“I have mezonos in the dorm,” I responded — but that wasn’t enough. “Moshe Dov, you don’t wash for Melaveh Malkah?”

I answered in the negative, and Rabbi Neuberger started telling me about this beautiful mitzvah and the special zechus of washing for it. He then proceeded to layer cold cuts on a sliced baguette, and he and his rebbetzin sat down with me for a delicious deli sandwich for Melaveh Malkah.

The Neubergers’ actions made an impression, and washing for Melaveh Malkah has become a constant in my life. I have not missed even one Motzaei Shabbos since that moment more than 15 years ago.

Rabbi Moshe Dov Heber is a middle school rebbi in Yeshiva K’tana of Waterbury, Connecticut, and a division head in Camp Romimu. He speaks and writes about various topics.