Last week I had to go out shopping Erev Shabbos for things I forgot to buy during the week.

I call a friend to kvetch.

“I can’t believe I have to go out shopping on Erev Shabbos — where was I all week that I couldn’t or didn’t organize this?”

It’s not the first time it’s happened but why does it happen?

Why would I put myself in such an exhausting situation as cooking and shopping on the same day?

I know it sounds funny — what’s so exhausting about shopping and cooking in one day? But in 100-degree heat the big long hill to the store can be draining.

So my friend says “Why do you think you let yourself get to this place?”

I have a few conclusions — Bad planning. Not wanting to acknowledge I need all the things I didn’t want to buy.

This week I make a commitment not be there again.

I focus the whole week on Shabbos.

I also recognize that procrastinating comes from a kind of hopelessness. I never feel like I get to where I want to be for Shabbos. Like I want ten salads two kinds of fish homemade challah and of course the chicken’s a whole story in itself. I also want the whole house clean all the beds made and the floors washed. I also want everyone dressed and the table set. And every Shabbos something’s guaranteed to be missing from this picture.

I start on Tuesday.

This gives me a real head start and I start to see there are two ways to live life — either the house is on top of you or you’re on top of the house.

Meaning you’re either one step ahead or ten behind

Mesilas Yesharim speaks about “sha’ar hazrizus” (the gate of alacrity). This is the character trait of acting quickly not allowing or indulging in buildup.

For example:

A young woman who moved here fromAmericacalls. “I can’t do all the laundry piled up in front of my bedroom door” she says.

I try to advise her by phone. “Throw in the towels” I say. “Just the towels.”

I call back 30 minutes later. “Are the towels in?” I ask.

“I can’t. I’m stuck” she says.

“Okay I’ll pop over to help.”

And why can I offer? Because last week — by having all Shabbos ready and the house clean early — there was less work after Shabbos. Which allows me to get out.

When I get to this young woman’s apartment I can clearly see what holds a person back in life.

I see a laundry room whose door cannot be opened because there’s a couch behind the door that she’s waiting to sell or get rid of. If you can’t open the laundry room door it’s going to hold up the whole process. And so the bedroom gets cluttered your head gets confused you don’t have the clothing you need to go out and you’re paralyzed and stuck.

First thing we do is get the couch out.

She wants to sell it for 200 shekels because it’s a little broken. So this 200 shekels is now holding up her entire life.

These are the little clogs in the system we hold on to because we’re afraid to lose something which in the end causes far more loss.

Locating clogs is a constant process.

It might look like it’s the laundry on the floor but it really starts with the laundry room.

I have a painting of the Baba Sali. But it’s sitting on the floor in our dining room waiting to be hung because the screw that holds the string broke. It’s been there for months.

Every time I pass it it bothers me. The other day I said “That’s it. Today I get that picture on a wall.” I’m willing to go to any picture-framing shop it takes.

I pick up the picture. Examine the screw. Notice that if I just turn it a little it’ll probably go back into place.

I slowly turn the little screw and in maybe 30 seconds — or less — the picture is ready to be hung.

It’s a big life lesson for me. How easy it is really. Just find the clog focus on the problem and then go about fixing it. Then everything starts to flow again.

It’s a great place to live; one little step ahead.