D-RAMA only took off once I finally accepted that life doesn’t have to happen in a picture-perfect order. Even though I wasn’t yet a wife or mother, I could see my sense of purpose. Even though I didn’t have a home for a family of my own, there could be a place for me in this community. And even though I wasn’t married, I could own an expensive watch.

The next day, after the pop-up shop, I texted my jeweler. “Can I come look at your watch collection?”

Within the week, I had my own Rolex. It was the biggest single purchase I’ve ever made, but I didn’t regret a single penny.

When I showed the watch to my family members, some of them were concerned about my independence. “What will your chassan’s family get you if you already have a watch?”

I wasn’t worried. When the day comes, G-d willing, if my in-laws want to buy me a watch, I’ll be thrilled. I’m sure I’ll love the piece because it will be the one I received as a bride. But I can also love this watch — the one I worked hard to earn, the gift I bought myself.

Just that week, I’d chatted with a married friend. After our “Hi, how are yous,” she unburdened herself — and I listened to her echo many of my thoughts.

“I’m so bored at my job,” she confided. “But I need to stick to it if we want to save up for a down payment. I feel like I’m choking in this apartment.”

I used to think that once your husband swooped in to rescue you, you’d fly into the sunset and life would be a “happily ever after.” Yet my married friends were dealing with the same challenges I woke up to every morning. Yes, my married friends were, well, married, but that didn’t mean life was all sunshine.

I hung up the phone and realized: No one was going to hand me my future — but I could create it. I don’t need to wait for a husband to determine my success. I could take charge of my own life and make my own dreams come true — even if I didn’t have the protection of a marriage to support me.

I thought about my empty ring finger and the scale in my bathroom. If I measured success by my weight or marital status, I would be a failure. But I knew I wasn’t a failure — I had built a business from the ground up. I had a new measure of success now: how strongly I believed in myself. Knowing that I was giving my customers a new sense of their own beauty while learning to love myself at whichever weight I was holding.

When I bought myself the watch, I added a new definition to the list. Success is trusting I’m strong enough to make my dreams come true.

Even if, for now, I’m doing it alone.

to be continued…

(Originally featured in Family First, Issue 767)