Shoshana sniffles. “I just… it’s so… embarrassing. I can’t believe this is what I’m worried about, but I’m just so mortified. What everyone will think. What everyone will say. And then I feel like the worst person in the world, because hello? It’s so much worse for Dina. She was going to get married. She had her gown, they were sending out invitations, everything. And now she’s just, like, boom, all over, back in shidduchim, and with a broken engagement to boot.”

Mimi’s heart contracts. Poor Dina. And poor Shoshana. They’d all been so excited.

“You don’t need to feel bad that you’re upset,” she says. “I mean, it’s normal. You were all excited for the wedding…. It’s a huge disappointment. And a shock, too.”

It seems like she’s said the right thing, because Shoshana nods and starts to cry harder.

“And, like, Dina of all people,” she says between sobs. “She’s so sweet and nice. Why did this happen to her?”

“I know,” Mimi says. “She totally deserves to be happy.”

Shoshana keeps on talking. “But then, this sounds awful, but like, part of me is angry. Why did she break it off? Why couldn’t she make it work? I mean, he was a nice guy. I think he was, at least. What could’ve happened? Why did she need to do this…? Like, what will people think? What will they think of her? Of our family? Of me?”

The words roll off Mimi’s tongue. “Shosh. You’re not Dina. Dina’s not you. No one can judge you for what happened to her.”

Shoshana stops crying. She gives a short, sharp bark of laughter that wasn’t humorous at all. “Seriously? You, Mimi? I thought you’d get it.”

You’re not your sister. No one has a right to judge.

The words echo in Mimi’s head.

“You mean… like Kayla?”

Shoshana presses her lips together, and then she opens her mouth again and blurts, “Yes. Yes. Because you’re always talking about it… how it reflects on you. What your family does. What your sister does. That’s why… that’s why I told you, Mimi. Not Ella or Tzippy. I thought you’d get it; I didn’t think you would give me that baloney.”

Ouch.

Mimi sucks in a breath. Shoshana is right.

“You’re right,” she says quietly. “I – I wish you weren’t, but it’s true. I feel judged all the time. Some people look past your family, your sister, the stuff that isn’t yours. But most people… they don’t. Like Ella says, people automatically compare siblings to each other. It’s not fair. But it happens.” Stop talking, Mimi. What are you saying? What are you telling her? You need to say it’s not true, that people won’t judge, that everyone will look at her the same as before. Why are you making things worse?

But Shoshana’s eyes are pools of relief. Tears are still streaked on her cheeks, but she’s not crying anymore.

“You get it,” she whispers. “You… you’re not brushing me off, telling me it’s not true, or whatever. Because it is, it really is. And it’s happening to me, any day now, when everyone finds out what happened.”

Mimi has nothing to say. But she reaches out and squeezes Shoshana’s hand, and Shoshana holds it tightly, and for a moment, they just breathe in sync with each other, feeling the moment, breathing in the pain.

And then there’s a sudden, strident knock on the door, and Kayla marches in.

“Hello, Mimi. Hello, Shoshana,” she says, smiling too widely. “I’ve come to join you.”

To be continued…

(Originally featured in Teen Pages, Issue 898)